


Twins Vs The Forces of Evil

by VioletReaper



Series: Era Of Music [1]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: F/M, Mewman/Monster relationship, starco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17303681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletReaper/pseuds/VioletReaper
Summary: Star Butterfly and her twin sister Selene have always been the best of friends, even if their viewpoint on monsters doesn't align. However their time on Earth my change their views - both on monsters and each other - but for better or for worse is uncertain.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own SVTFOE or its characters. I only own my OC's.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two stars are born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discord server for all things Era of Music
> 
> https://discord.gg/pXgq8Xd  
> There's the link. Come chat with me!

_Mewni, 14 years before the TV series..._

Moon really hadn't expected this. She'd known she was pregnant, and that she'd give birth to a girl if the nursemaid's premonition was right. But she never expected to give birth to  _twins._ Twins! As in two at the same time! There wasn't even a moment's pause in the delivery, because as soon as the first little girl came out into the world, her sister was right behind her, as though they couldn't bear to be separated. But maybe it was a good thing. At least the hard work was over. Now she, her frantic husband, and her little princesses could rest.

"You did splendidly, my dear," River said warmly so he wouldn't frighten the newborns as they were cleaned off, swaddled, and handed to their mother. "And just look at our beautiful little girls!"

Indeed, they were beautiful. Fair skinned, blue-eyed, blond-haired beauties. The first-born had heart-shaped marks on her cheeks, while the second-born had music notes as blue as her eyes. At least it would be easy to tell them apart. "You are Star..." Moon said, her eyes on the one with the hearts on her cheeks, a warm and tired smile on her face. "And you are Selene. My little treasures." She and River had spent the last trimester picking out the perfect name for their child and had narrowed it down to either Star or Selene, as it was customary to give the royal children names based on heavenly bodies. She hugged them both gently. "Welcome to the world, my dears."

River cooed over them, as did the nursemaid. After letting them nurse, they fell asleep and soon were relocated to the nursery that had been set up for them during the last 8-1/2 months. They had to sleep in the same cradle for now, as they hadn't been expecting twins. They'd get one for Selene soon.

As it turned out, when they tried to place the newborns in separate cradles the following night, the twins would have none of it, and screamed and wailed incessantly until they were both in the same one. After reading a book on identical twins (as that's what Star and Selene seemed to be, aside from the cheek marks), they realized that separating them would be about as easy as pulling teeth without magic, at least until they got a little older.

* * *

 

For the first few years, things went splendidly. Star and Selene were both growing up to be adorable, healthy, and happy little girls. Their days were filled with laughter, play, and scary stories about monsters eating little Mewman children who didn't eat all their corn at dinnertime. All in all, a perfectly normal Mewman childhood. Then Selene began to notice things. Like how her father spoke of monsters with a general annoyance while her mother hated them with a cold passion. And how her mother always wore those long gloves. Even when there was no need to.

One day Selene's curiosity got the better of her. She was just five years old when she approached her mother and asked in the innocent, straightforward way only a small child can, "Mommy? Why do you always wear those gloves?"

Moon stiffened, her eyes wide with an emotion Selene was still too young to properly understand. "Um, why do you ask, sweetie?" she asked nervously.

"You always wear those gloves," Selene said, tilting her head cutely, hugging the plush bunnicorn in her arms. "Even when there's no need to. Is there something on your arms you don't want others to see?"

Moon sweat-dropped, then sighed. She didn't like talking about it, and her little girl was still so young. But Selene was an inquisitive, persistent child. She had already gotten many secrets of life out of the staff, her father, her relatives, the Royals from the minor kingdoms... trying to hide anything from her was like trying to hide a full-color rainbow in a gray room. So with a sigh, Moon led the little girl to her private chambers, where they wouldn't be disturbed or seen. She sat her down on the bed and sat down beside her. "Selene, dear," she began. "When I was younger, just a new queen, a very bad monster killed my mother." Selene had already witnessed death when her favorite squirelicorn was carried off by a hawk. There was no need to sugar-coat the truth with her. "This monster is powerful, dangerous, and incredibly evil. I had to find a way to defeat him, avenge my mother, and get a message across to the rest of the monsters. So, I spoke to a former queen who dabbled in dark magic."

"But... isn't dark magic bad?" Selene asked.

"Yes, dear, but in this case, it was the only option," Moon insisted. "My job as Queen of Mewni is to protect our people, and sometimes that calls for doing something that you normally wouldn't do. As I was saying, I used this spell to avenge my mother, defeat the monster, and send a powerful message to his army. But... because it was dark magic, it left its mark on me." She carefully removed one of her gloves, then the other, showing her daughter the black veins that started at her wrists and ended at her elbows. "The spell did what I needed it to do, but these marks will never go away."

Selene gazed deep into her mother's eyes, and for the first time, she saw the deep-seated pain in them. She placed her hands in her mothers, holding them tightly. All of a sudden, her cheek marks began to glow as she tapped into her magic for the first time. There was only one thought in her mind as her magic flared up and caused the black veins on her mother's arms to glow in response:  _Take away my mommy's source of pain and shame!_

Her eyes and cheek marks glowed pure white and her hair began to float as she dipped down for the first time. Eyes wide, Moon watched in awe as her daughter's skin glowed the purest white and her golden hair glowed like a star, making her look ethereal. The more she glowed, the more the black veins faded until they were gone as though they'd never been there. By then, her daughter was literally floating. Had she not been holding her hands, she might've floated up to the ceiling! The moment the veins disappeared, Selene's eyes and cheek marks stopped glowing, and she flopped down on the bed, drawing a gasp from her mother as she caught her. Selene was out cold from the effort of working such powerful magic at such a young age.

It was two days before Selene woke up, during which Star was inconsolable. When the girl opened her eyes, she was surrounded by her mother, her father, her sister, Glossaryck, and the Magic High Counsel. "What...? What happened...?" she asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes. As soon as she got a good look at her hands, however, she woke right up.

She was pale.

Not just pale, her skin had bleached to the whitest of white, like fresh snow before it was tainted by soot, mud, or smoke. She stared at her hands in shock even as she was tackle-hugged by her twin, who was crying with relief. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, sis!" Star wailed, squeezing her with a near-deadly force. Even then, Selene's focus was not on her, but on how pale her skin had become.

"What... happened?" she asked again, finally hugging Star back as she looked up at her parents and the MHC. "You know I won't stop asking until you tell me."

"Selene, dear, what's the last thing you remember?" Moon asked.

"You were telling me why you always wear gloves even when there's no reason to," Selene replied. "You showed me the marks the spell you cast left on your arms. I took your hands, and the only thought in my mind was  _'Take away my mommy's source of pain and shame.'_ I can't remember anything after that."

Heckapoo, who was Selene's best friend so far, stepped forward, concern in her eyes. "Princess, you dipped down for the first time," she said. "You used your magic to remove the taint of darkness that infected your mom when she cast that dark spell. Such a spell came at a cost. That's why your skin's become so fair. You've come to embody your true nature: innocence and purity. You've become Selene the Immaculate."

"Sissy gets her title?" Star asked as her eyes widened. Selene could only sit there in shock as Glossaryck explained things more in-depth and congratulated her on being the youngest Butterfly to ever dip down, let alone use magic. She wasn't sure she wanted to go down in history as "Selene the Immaculate." Moon gave her a mirror so she could see her face. Indeed, she'd become white as snow, though her cheek emblems were still the same shade of blue. Her eyes, however, were now midnight blue, a strong contrast to her snow-white skin. Her hair, too, was paler. The palest platinum blond there was.

Star could sense her sister's insecurity. "I think you look pretty, sis," she assured her. "I think you look like a goddess!"

Selene smiled a bit. "Thanks, sis," she said softly.

After a few quick tests to make sure Selene hadn't suffered adversely from her transformation, the MHC left her alone with just her mom and dad, who hugged her warmly. "Thank you, Selene, dear," Moon said, trying not to cry. "I can't tell you how much what you did means to me."

"You mother has been self-conscious about those marks ever since she defeated the Lizard, but that's a story for another day," King River said. "Thank you, my dear."

"I'd do anything for my family," Selene said, hugging them back.

And she meant it.

* * *

Years passed, and Star and Selene made many friends, starting with Princess Ponyhead. She was rambunctious and spontaneous... and a little annoying in Selene's opinion. She was like a glittery wild Waricorn, perfectly suited to Star, but Selene had become a bit more introverted after her first dip. She could only handle Ponyhead in small bursts. More often than not, Selene would retreat to the library if the floating ponyhead started to give her a headache. There, she would pour over spell books that her ancestors had written, writing down the ones that sounded useful and disregarding the ones that didn't.

She also began to take up playing the violin, often getting lost in the music as she played with a passion no one had ever seen before. Sometimes she would sneak out of the castle to go play her violin where it was quiet... like in the Forest of Certain Death. She encountered many monsters there, but her music soothed them to their very souls, and more often than not her trips there resulted in teaching them how to make musical instruments and how to play them.

She was popular among the monster children, who called her "the Nice Mew-girl". She never wore her crown when she entered the Forest, so no one knew she was a princess. It was there that she met a monster boy about her age when she was just 12. He was a Septarian - a Lizard - with grey skin, dark purple hair, and amber eyes. His name was Carmel. He was suspicious of her at first, but soon revealed his passion for singing, and he had a great voice as well. After that day, she visited him as often as she could, and they would make music for hours on end. It wasn't long before they became best friends.

"So Selene," Carmel said one day as they relaxed after working on a new song from the Earth dimension. "I've been meaning to ask you... why do you always come here to practice violin? I mean, you're Mewman. I thought Mewmans hated monsters? My dad lost his finger permanently because of your current queen."

Selene had a feeling she knew who he was talking about, but didn't let on just yet. "I never fully understood the animosity between monsters and Mewmans," she explained. "Don't get me wrong, I get why monsters have reason to be resentful towards Mewmans. We came in unannounced, forced your ancestors off the land that had been rightfully yours for generations, and have been total jerks about it since the reign of Queen Solaria. I just don't see why the cycle of hatred should continue, or why I should be a part of it. The monsters I've met and befriended are as good to me as my sister's friends are to her, so I really don't see why we need to be enemies. As for why I come here rather than play at home? It's quieter here. Sister's friends are loud and annoying, and they're always making mischief. I need my peace and quiet the way corn needs sunlight and rain!"

"I hear that," Carmel agreed. Then something occurred to him. "You don't talk about your family very often. And when you do, you always call them 'Mom', 'Dad', and 'Sister.' You've never told me their names. And it's a kinda weird coincidence that you've got the same first name as the Second Princess. You've been coming here for months, and I still don't know your last name."

Selene sighed as she sat up on the log she'd been reclining on. "Promise you won't hate me the moment I say it?" she asked.

"Why would I hate you?" Carmel asked with a chuckle. "You're literally the nicest person I've ever met and the only Mewman who doesn't treat monsters like the scum of Mewni. I could never hate you."

"I hope you mean that," Selene said, steeling herself. "My name is Princess Selene Symphony Butterfly the Immaculate, second-in-line for the throne of Mewni."

Carmel stared at her in surprise, his amber eyes wide. "That... actually makes perfect sense," he said at last. "It explains why you hold yourself with the dignity of a royal and the slight accent. And the cheek emblems. Not to mention the really nice clothes."

"Doesn't it though?" Selene asked with a smile. "So, can you still bare my presence, or does being a Butterfly make our friendship null and void?"

Carmel sighed with a small smile and shook his head. "I could never hate you, Selene," he repeated. "Butterfly, Johansen, Ponyhead, whatever. You're you, and you're the nicest person I've ever met. I may be a Septarian, but I don't hold grudges the way most of my kind do. You've never done me wrong, so I see no reason to hold you responsible for the crimes your ancestors did against monsterkind."

Selene gave a sigh of relief and the two hugged. "Thank you," she said. "When I'm queen, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure monsters can live better lives. It's long overdue that my family rights its wrongs."

"And I'll be there to support you all the way," Carmel said, pulling away gently. "Because that's what friends do."

The lovely moment was ruined, however, when a shrill "SIIIIS!! ARE YOU IN HERE?!" filled the air. Selene's expression deflated. "That would be my twin sister Star," she sighed, face-palming. Somehow Star always popped up at the worst moment. Probably something she picked up from Ponyhead.

"You should go now," Carmel said with an understanding little smile. "I don't want you getting in trouble with your family for hanging out with monsters."

"You've got a mirror-phone, right?" the second princess asked.

"Yes? Why?"

Selene wordlessly grabbed one of his hands and with her other hand took out a pen. She then proceeded to write her number on his palm. "Call me!" she said, hurrying off as her twin's loud voice called out again. Carmel was left standing there, a surprised look on his face that slowly morphed into a genuinely happy smile.

Selene later lied to her parents and sister that she'd been in the Forest of Certain Death looking for a particular plant to make a new bowstring out of, something stronger but just as smooth as Waricorn hair. She had, in fact, found it just before star found her. River joked that at the rate Selene was learning music her title might become Selene the Musical. Somehow she thought she could easily live with that.

Time went on. When they were 13, Star met a boy she liked at the Silver Bell Ball, Prince Tomas Lucitor of the Underworld. Selene, ever the wallflower, found herself wishing Carmel could come. But monsters weren't invited. They never were. So, she left the ball early. When she went up to her room, she found a surprise waiting for her.

Carmel, in formal-wear of black and dark blue, standing in the middle of her chambers, holding a bouquet of blue roses - Selene's favorite. He looked absolutely dashing for a 13-year-old lizard.

They had their own Silver Bell Ball in Selene's spacious suite, dancing to songs they'd written and ones brought over from the Earth Dimension. When it was time for Carmel to leave, he blushed and asked her, "Will you go out with me, Selene?"

The princess smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "I thought you'd never ask," she said. Carmel just blushed harder and gave a giddy little chuckle as he bid her goodnight and, using his own pair of Dimensional Scissors (how else would he have gotten his hands on Earth Music?), cut a portal in thin air and went home.

Selene smiled, then wrote down the evening's turn of events in her diary in Low-Mewnian Caesar Cipher.

On his side of the closed portal, Carmel gave a dreamy sigh before standing up a bit straighter and slicking back his hair, only to freeze when his father's voice sounded: "Son. Have you any idea what time it is?"

"Um, Dad! Hi!" Carmel exclaimed nervously. "Ummm..."

"And why on Mewni are you dressed up like a Mewman Noble?" his father demanded, stepping into the light. Like his son, he had grey skin and amber eyes. He had black hair, however. Carmel's purple hair was from his mother. His father towered over him, stern and cold. "What exactly have you been up to, son?"

"I... I met someone, Dad," Carmel admitted. "I went to a party tonight dressed like this because I wanted to impress her and ask her out."

His father stared him down, bringing his right hand to his chin - said hand was missing its middle-finger - in thought. He evaluated his son's words. "You met someone?" he asked. "What's she like?"

"She's... she's the most radiant being I've ever met," Carmel admitted. "She's kind, fair-minded, plays the violin. She's like the Angels the Mewmans talk about, but real. Well, minus the wings, but you get the idea, right Dad?"

His father chuckled. "I do indeed, son." he agreed. "You will have to introduce me to her sometime. I'd like to meet the girl who can put such a love-struck smile on your face. Now, off to bed, young man." he steered the young monster off in another direction.

"'Night, Dad!" Carmel called as he headed off to his room.

"Goodnight, son." the grown Lizard said. But as soon as the door closed, the Lizard clenched his right fist. "It's almost time."


	2. Twins Come To Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Episode 1 part 1! As always, I own nothing but my OC's!

_Mewni, beginning of Season 1..._

_Far, far away, in a magical land called Mewni, lived the Twin Princesses, Star and Selene Butterfly._

"Rail-slide!" Star, now 14, exclaimed as she slid down the handrail, smashing something as she did so. Her twin sister Selene skipped lightly down the stairs behind her as the family portrait fell on top of the older twin.  
"Haah, you never change, do you Star?" she asked.  
"Nope, and I never will!" Star replied, ripping through the portrait like it was tissue paper.

_Some people have called Star reckless and irresponsible just because..._

The scene shifted, and a monster snarled at Star, only to get punched between the eyes. Its buddy received the same treatment, and another took a flying kick to the face!

_She fights monsters!_

"Sis, C'mon!" Selene hissed, playing her violin to keep the rest of the horde calm. Secretly she sympathized with them. Her twin was strong and had fists and feet of fury.

"Coming~!" the elder twin sang, and the two of them dashed out of the cave and jumped on the back of a wild Waricorn.

_And tames wild unicorns while Selene studies complex spells and music sheets. They like to have fun, and they're about to get a whole lot more because today is their 14th birthday. And according to tradition, their mom, the Queen, has to bestow upon them their greatest family heirloom - The Royal Magic Wand!_

Star and Selene rode the "tamed" Waricorn through the streets of Mewni, the peasants were barely able to move aside in time to avoid being trampled. They rode up to the gates of the palace, not even stopping long enough for them to be opened. Inside, Queen Moon and King River Butterfly waited for them, both looking the part of stoic royals. The sound of hoofbeats filled the air, causing the assembled nobles to look towards the entrance to the throne room. The doormen didn't even have time to open the doors before the Waricorn carrying Star and Selene barged it, knocking the double-doors off their hinges and making the nobles scream in panic. The twins rode the beast up to the thrones and leaped off just in time, the Waricorn going past their parents and right through the wall!

Star and Selene gazed at the wand, barely able to hold back their excitement. Actually, Selene was doing a better job than Star, who kept trying to grab the wand. "Now, girls," Moon reminded them. "This wand is a big responsibility. If it falls into the hands of evil forces, the universe could be destroyed-oh!"

Just like that, Star snatched away the wand, unable to wait for it to be passed over to her. She held it between her and her twin, and Selene gripped the handle just below Star's hand. Like magic (which it obviously was), the wand separated into two complete wands. They looked almost identical, but Star's wand was lavender with an Amberized Starglass for the crystal, while Selene's wand was midnight-blue with a Moonstone polished in the shape of a music note, a perfect match to her cheek emblems. The wings of the twin wands fluttered, and the transformation was over.

The twins gasped over how pretty and cute their wands were, eyes sparkling in awe. "Don't worry, mom!" Star said, waving her off. "We can handle it!" They chimed together.

Only a few days later, Star got in a fight with Tom and they broke up, and a day after that, star accidentally set the kingdom ablaze with a giant flaming rainbow. From a tower window, Moon and River watched the mayhem through binoculars while Glossaryck floated beside them in a meditative pose. "She can't handle it." they deadpanned as Selene used her wand to snuff out the blaze.

* * *

(Time-skip!)

"Noooo!" Star wailed, grabbing onto her mom's gown and falling to her knees as several trunks were loaded onto a waiting carriage. "I can be good! Please don't send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!"

"Yeah, and why am I being punished For Sis's mistakes?!" Selene demanded as Star screamed in horror, as she'd been made to pack a trunk as well.

"Sweetheart, we're not sending you there," River reassured her. "And my little musician, you're not being punished at all!"

"Oh!" The twins, chimed, instantly brightening up.

"Yet." Their mother warned, wiping the relieved smiles from their faces.

"We're sending you both to train in a safer dimension," River explained. "A place called Earth!"

"Earth?" The twins parroted, though Star looked confused while Selene looked excited.

"Manfred! open the portal!" the king instructed a butler, who took out a pair of diamond Dimensional Scissors to open said portal, while Moon pushed a very reluctant Star into the carriage and Selene got on willingly. Once the portal was big enough, Manfred bowed, and the Lion-Dragons pulled the carriage through.

"Haah... Goodbye, Mewni!" Star said sadly.

"Don't get boring while we're gone!" Selene chimed before the portal closed behind them.

Nobody noticed the Frogman in the bushes, heard his evil snicker, or saw him follow them through the portal as it closed.

* * *

(The Earth Dimension, Echo Creek Academy)

"So... you say you're from another dimension...?" Principal Skeeves said dubiously, tenting his index fingers as the King and Queen stood before his desk in his office. Today was not a good day for him so far. The hot water for the shower had taken too long, a bird pooped on his car, causing him to narrowly avoid a wreck, and to top it all off, the coffee-maker in the break-room was busted.

And then Star started playing with the light-switch. "And you said there was no magic on Earth!" Star scoffed as she kept flicking it, causing Selene to face-palm.  
"Star, could you please stop?" She asked. "That's giving me a headache." The twins were dressed in Earth clothing to help them blend in, with star wearing a light turquoise dress and unicorn rain boots while Selene wore a deep blue empire-waist dress decorated with stars and lace, white tights, and black heels with cute little ribbons. Star wore a demon-horn headband while Selene wore a deep-blue beret.

"Yeeeaaah, this isn't gonna work." The principal droned. River then bribed him with a chest full of gold and jewels. "They are going to love it here!" he exclaimed, dollar-signs replacing his eyes. Star kept flickering the lights until Selene slapped her hand away.

"...They are going to need a guide." River suggested as Moon sighed in annoyance.

 

Meanwhile, in a classroom not far away...

A group of freshmen sat at their desks, one of which was a young man in a red hoodie.  _"Marco Diaz to the principal's office. Marco Diaz to the principal's office."_ Skeeves said over the intercom.

Said boy just smiled. "Ooooh, looks like someone's in trouble~!" he said tauntingly to the rest of the class as he got up to gloat. "So, I guess everyone who voted me 'Safest Kid' must be feeling pretty embarrassed right now!" Then, turning to the morbidly obese teacher, Ms. Skullnik, who was painting her toenails rather than doing her job, he asked, "Do I need a hall pass?"

"Would you just go already?" she growled, sending him on his way.

***

"Marco!" the principal exclaimed happily as said teen strolled up to him. "I want you to meet our newest foreign exchange students: Star and Selene Butterfly!" He directed Marco's attention to said princesses, who were investigating the water fountain. "I need a responsible, never-take-chances-type to keep an eye on them," Skeeves explained. "And who better than you, the 'Safe Kid'?"

"WHAT?!" Marco exclaimed in horror. "Nononono! I am completely wrong for this! I'm a misunderstood bad boy!"

"You're adorable!" the principal said dismissively, pinching Marco's cheek. "Now I'm off to the ice cream shop!" he said, looking at the massive chest filled with treasure as he walked off. "Daddy's getting all 52 flavors!" Marco just sighed and returned his attention to the twins, one of whom was now chomping on the water fountain for reasons unknown while the other was face-palming and shaking her head.

Marco then led the twins around the school, Star skipping and Selene walking at a calm pace beside him. "Thanks for showing us around, Safe Kid!" Star said cheerfully.

"What?! No! Whatever you've heard about me isn't true," the boy insisted as Star's attention went everywhere and nowhere at once. "I don't know where people get the idea that I'm so safe- oh, watch your step, loose tile."  _I think I know why..._ Selene thought as they continued, but kept that thought to herself. "It's ridiculous! Careful." He closed a locker before it could hit Star in the face.  _Very chivalrous..._ Selene observed. "You wear a helmet in the gym shower  _one time_ , and you're labeled for life-broken glass!" He quickly steered both the twins away from the evil shards, making Selene giggle as it reminded her of a time when Carmel steered her away from a Mewman-eating plant in the Forest of Certain Death. "Frankly, I like taking risks and would welcome a little danger in my life!" Marco informed them as he punched his fist into his palm.

And without warning, Star turned a butterfly into a snarling Moth-Monster who flew off with a male student, much to Marco's horror.

"What the heck was that?!" he demanded as Selene took out her own wand and shot a blast of magic at the monster, turning it back to normal.

"Oops!" Star blushed. "I thought you wanted a little danger?"

Marco looked at both of them like they'd each grown a second head. "Who are you?"

"We're magical princesses from another dimension!" the twins said in dreamy voices, spinning around once before creating a rainbow and a music script arching over them respectively. The rainbow quickly caught on fire, though, sending the cute little animals that appeared with it to flee.

Marco stared in shock before he snapped out of it. "Well, that brings us to the end of our tour," he announced, turning to leave. "I'm going home now!"

"Bye new friend, see you tomorrow!" Star called after him as he retreated. "Thanks for the tour!" Selene chimed in as the flames got bigger and started to burn the school, making Marco break into an all-out run.

When he got home, he was surprised to find the twins had beaten him there and were happily chatting with his parents. "Oh, Marco!" His mother exclaimed happily, waving him over. "Come meet the new foreign exchange students who're gonna be living with us!"

"Wha-wha?" Marco blanched in horror as his brain ground to a halt.

"What? I had no idea these were your parents?" Star admitted, hurrying to bring him over and holding onto his arm while Selene held onto the other. "I just assumed everyone on Earth had the last name 'Diaz'!"

"Really, Star?" Selene deadpanned, surprising Marco because she didn't seem to talk much. "Really?"

"Won't it be nice to have Star's upbeat, lively energy and Selene's beautiful music around the house?" Marco's Mother, Angie Diaz, asked, as Star grinned ear-to-ear while Selene's smile was calmer but just as genuine.

"We could've gotten the first one from a litter of puppies," Marco deadpanned. "And the second one from a CD!"

Star gasped, not picking up on his bad mood, while Selene frowned as she and Marco were shoved. "I. LOVE. PUPPIES!!" Star insisted, then fired up her wand. A second later, a littler of beige-colored puppies sat on the living room floor, yipping adorably.

"Awww..." The Diaz parents cooed over the adorable sight... until the puppies started shooting lasers from their eyes! Marco and Selene both scowled at Star, who picked up a puppy and laughed awkwardly. "Well, they are really cute," Mr. Diaz said, scooping one up, only to be zapped in the eye. "Ay! My eye!" How he and Angie were both laughing afterward was beyond the saner two in the room.

"Marco, why don't you show Star and Selene their new room?" Angie suggested. Star took off up the stairs, Selene following at a more reasonable pace, using her magic to haul her luggage while Marco struggled with Star's.

None of them noticed the Frogman in the tree watching through the window as he chuckled, pulled out a pair of Dimensional Scissors, and cut a portal to Castle Avarius, home of the Monster King, Ludo Avarius.

"Ludo, Master, I've tracked down Star and Selene Butterfly," he informed his boss, who faced away from him on a massive throne. "They've hidden them in the Earth Dimension, unguarded."

The monster on the throne cackled evilly, then swiveled around to show his face. Sitting atop a massive stack of pillows was a short little Kappa (bird-man) with a horned skull for a crown. He was no bigger than a small child and was obviously overcompensating with the pillows. "Excellent work, Buff Frog!" he said in a voice that resembled a dying vulture. "I knew they couldn't hide those royal brats from me for long! Soon the wand will be mine, and then the universe, AND THEN...!!! Actually, the universe should do it. I'm coming for you, Princesses Butterfly."

* * *

(Back at the Diaz residence...)

"Here's your... new room... Ow!" Marco yelped as the trunk he was hauling crushed his foot and the puppies zapped him repeatedly.

"Okay..." Star said, nibbling on the edge of her wand. "We can work with this..." Selene continued, looking a little claustrophobic. "SPARKLE-GLITTER-BOMB EXPAND!!" The twins said in time, tapping their wands together to amplify the spell. Hot-pink and silvery-purple magic enveloped the room, transforming it into a massive onion-domed tower. How it didn't fall off the side of the house defies logic and physics. It's magic, so just go with it. The remodeled room was an exact replica of both Star and Selene's royal chambers combined.

"Whoa..." Marco said in awe as Star started bouncing on her bed and Selene went over to her violin stand to practice an Earth song she'd heard.

"That's better!" Star sing-songed and she bounced.

"I wish I had a room like this," the boy admitted.

Star gasped hopefully and jumped off her bed, running up to him. "You do?!" she asked eagerly. Without waiting for his reply she dashed to his room, ready to win him over with magic.

"This won't end well." Selene sighed as she and Marco followed her.

Star stood at the entry to Marco's room and swirled her wand. "MYSTIC ROOM SUCK TRANSFORM!" she intoned. Instead of an epic magic room makeover, it created a black hole in the center of the room that began sucking everything in the room into it! The three of them screamed as they hurried to close the door, losing one of the puppies in the process.

"Suck? SUCK?! WHY WAS THE WORD 'SUCK' IN THAT SPELL?!" a ragged-looking Marco demanded, shaking a puppy roughly off his leg.

"I don't know, it just came out that way!" Star said frantically, hopping from foot to foot, horrified by what had happened. That wasn't what she planned to do for her new friend! Marco groaned in defeat, face-planting into the door. "I'm sorry, Marco," Star admitted. "Uh, how about a little sunshine to brighten your day?" She zapped the space above his head, and for a moment a happy, smiling mini-sun appeared over his head... only to transform into a rain cloud, summing up how he felt right now.

That was the last straw for Marco. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!" he snapped, startling even Selene. "If you're moving in, I'm moving out!" With that, he went right out the second-story window with a yelp and a groan when he hit the ground.

The twins shoved their heads out the window. "Are you okay?" Star called down.

"Luckily, the cactuses broke my fall," Marco groaned, covered in cactus needles.

"Do you need any help?" Selene asked.

"OW! I'm fine!" Marco lied. "Just leave me alone!" And with that, he stormed off. The twins both wanted to call out to him, but neither really knew what to say. Star was the people-person, not Selene. She didn't know how to handle this kind of thing.

* * *

(Much later, in front of the Stop & Slurp convenience store...)

Marco stood under his personal rain cloud, munching on a candy bar and drinking a Slurpy. "Here he comes, here he comes," he muttered to himself as a random guy got out of a random car and headed for the door. "Hey man! Can you do me a solid?! Refill this for me!" Marco demanded in a crazed tone, scaring the man away. "They won't let me back in because I'm soggy~!" he explained, doing a jig to emphasize his point. A woman and her child exited the store, catching his eye. "Did you bring me my refill?!" he asked too eagerly. "Don't make eye contact." the mother instructed, leading her child quickly away. Marco ravenously gnawed at the candy and drank the Slurpy at the same time, acting like a crazed, starved homeless kid, before yelling "You come to my house, you bring toilet paper!!" When he turned around, there were Star and Selene, causing him to exclaim in fright. "What're you doing here?" The older twin magicked away the rain cloud.

"Star has something to say," Selene said simply, then elbowed her twin.

"I... didn't get a choice in coming here to Earth, and you didn't get a choice in having to deal with me," Star began, and Marco's anger abated. "I'll... I'll find another family to live with. Just please don't throw Selene out on the street."

Marco was about to say something when he noticed something behind them. "St-Star? Selene?" He pointed behind them, and the girls turned around to find a small army of monsters brandishing weapons and growling angrily at them.

"Star and Selene Butterfly," Ludo said smugly. "At last, I found you!"

"Ludo!" Star spat in disgust. "How did you know we were here?"

Ludo giggled. "Wouldn't you like to know!"

"Yes," Star said, completely serious. "That's why I asked."

"Well, Buff From- Hey!" ludo snapped, realizing he was about to give away his spy. "I don't have to tell you anything!" Raising his useless scepter, he commanded his monsters. "Get them!"

Star and Selene both assumed fighting positions, only for Marco to leap in front of them and take down a bull-man with three blows. "Whoa!" Star laughed excitedly as Selene winced. "You can fight?"

"It's called... karate!" Marco explained, hitting the Bearicorn in the face, knocking him out. The twins and Marco launched their attack, proving to be much more formidable than the monsters expected.

Ludo climbed up to Buff Frog's height, clinging to his tunic. "You said they were unguarded!" he hissed accusingly. Buff Frog could only reply "I dunno?"

Marco, Selene, and Star continued their battle; Marco with his flying fists of fury, star with a Rainbow Fist Punch that knocked a Giraffe-man through a car window, and Selene with a Lingering Lavender Lullaby that put three of the monsters to sleep, one of them mumbling "That's so pretty..." before succumbing to sleep. Star finished them off with a Mega Narwhal Blast, which defeated the horde easily.

Ludo stared at his monsters, all of whom had been defeated by three teenagers. "You want some of this, Ludo?" the twins asked, posing smugly, knowing they'd won.

Ludo sighed in defeat. "No..." he groaned, taking out a pair of Dimensional Scissors. "You see, you morons?" he screeched to his minions. "This is what happens when you don't work out!" He jumped into the air and tore a portal into existence. "Your muscles are like pudding! Come on! Back in the portal, back in the portal!" His troops did as ordered, groaning in pain the whole way, some dragging the sleeping ones, a Buff Frog freaking out from Star's Jellybean Hallucination Mist. "You even retreat like losers!" Once Buff Frog brought up the rear, Ludo stuck his head out of the portal. "I'll get you, Star and Selene Butterfl-!!" The portal collapsed around his neck, forcing him to pull it back to the side his body was on, and they were gone.

"That was amazing! I was amazing! You both were amazing!" Marco said, the adrenaline rush having clearly improved his mood.

"Yeah..." Star said as if just realizing it. " I guess we were!"

"Tell me something I don't know, Marco," Selene said, dusting off her dress.

Star's face fell then. "Well, I should probably go pack my bags," she said, walking away, only for Marco to go after her.

"wait! I don't want you to go!" he admitted, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I want you to stay with us."

"Really?!" the elder princess asked, her eyes sparkling with joy. "Hugs!" She threw her arms around Marco and her twin, and as always, Selene hugged back without hesitation. Marco was surprised, but it was okay with him!

"Are there gonna be monsters attacking us all the time?" he asked, pulling off a few karate moves as they all started heading home.

"Yeah, probably," the twins said.

"Oh, yeah!" Marco looked like he was gonna die from the awesomeness. "Sounds so dangerous-whoa! Let's... cross at the light," he said, stopping Star from walking into the street.

"Okay, wild man!" Star relented, and the three of them walked home as a bird flew from Star's wand to circle the moon, and a few music notes escaped Selene's, filling the air with calm, happy music.


	3. Party With a Pony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They second half of the episode, yay! As always, I own nothing but my OC's. And yes, we will start seeing a bit more of Carmel as we get further into Season 1. Plz be patient people!

_(Echo Creek, Earth, the Diaz Residence...)_

It was a quiet night on Marco's street, a perfect time to introduce his two new friends to his specialty dish! "Alright, girls," he said, taking something out of the oven. "Feast your eyes on this!!" He revealed a massive plate of tortilla chips stacked high and smothered in queso cheese.

"Marco's Super-Awesome Nachos!" The twins sang, clapping their hands, and they each took a cheese-covered chip. "Triangle food!" They said happily, tracing triangles in the air. Just as they were about to dig in, there was a knock on the door. Marco, still wearing the chef's hat and holding the steaming plate of nachos, checked answered the door, but there was no one there. He frowned, looking from left to right, but when he looked to the left again, a floating figure took him by surprise.

"Yo, what up, home-fries?" the floating unicorn head said, a smirk on her face. Marco, being unused to such a sight, did the only sane thing he could think of and screamed bloody murder, then fainted, spilling the plate of nachos.

Star, who'd been right behind him, watched him fall down, then looked out the door, her blue eyes filling with delight. "Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with glee, stepping forward... and onto Marco's torso, making him groan in pain. "FLYING PRINCESS PONYHEAD!!"

"Oh, hello, B-Fly!" Ponyhead replied happily, using her nickname for Star as they hugged - or, well, Star hugged, since Ponyhead was literally just a flying pony head. They pulled apart, both looking excited. "Gurl, we're going out tonight! Are you ready to make some bad choices?"

"Oh, let me just wake up Marco!" star said, thumbing at the collapsed body of her friend.

"Oh, that is not a dead person?" Ponyhead asked.

"Not... dead!" Marco groaned as he sat up.

"Ponyhead, meet my best friend, Marco Diaz!" Star made the introductions, waving one of Marco's arms as she pulled him up a bit more.

Ponyhead looked aghast. "Your best friend?" she asked, looking concerned.

"Huh? Oh, no, no, no, on Earth!" Star clarified, waving Marco's hands in place of her own, then making him point at Ponyhead with both hands. "You're my best friend on Mewni." Glancing down at her Earth-friend, she addressed him. "Marco, this is the pony I've been telling you about," she explained.

Ponyhead just snorted glitter in his face. "I hate your face, plus you're ugly," Ponyhead said rudely, giggling at her insult. "Just kidding, that's a joke!" She then floated to Star's side. "Tick-Tock, gurl! Let's par-tay!"

"Yeah, Marco," star said, dragging him into this. "Let's par-tay!"

"With her?" Marco asked uncertainly. "I was gonna-" before he could make a good excuse, Star used the puppy eyes on him. "Oh, okay," he relented, eating one of the cheese-covered chips off his hoodie.

"My two besties are gonna be besties!" Star exclaimed, hugging them both with crushing force.

"Have them back before sunrise, Ponyhead," Selene's voice said from the door.

"Oh, you bet, B-Fly-2!" Ponyhead said with an eager nod. Everyone on Mewni knew Selene was not one for wild parties.

"You're not coming?" Marco asked.

"Nah, partying is more Star and Ponyhead's thing," the paler princess explained. "I'll be happy to spend a quiet evening here with some tea, my music, and your Earth entertainment! Have fun, Sis!"

"Same to you, Sis!" Star replied.

Once the door shut, Ponyhead couched up a pair of Dimensional Scissors and opened a portal. Star hauled Marco through, but before she closed it, Ponyhead looked around to make sure they hadn't been seen. Almost as soon as her portal closed, another one opened, and three robot guards came out of it. One crouched down to the spot Ponyhead had been hovering over and picked something up, which he proceeded to taste. "Glitter. She was here."

* * *

(Inside the Diaz house...)

"So, you've got the house to yourself?" a familiar voice said from Selene's Magic Mirror. "What're Star and the Earth boy up to? And Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, for that matter?"

"Princess Ponyhead came over, wanting to have a night out with Star," Selene explained, pulling a beanbag over to the Mirror and flopping down on it. "Sis dragged Marco with them. As for Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, they're having a date-night, so unless Star and Marco aren't back by dawn, they probably won't find out. So, what's up with you, Carmel?"

The Septarian smiled at her from his side of the Mirror. "Ah, same-old, same-old," he dismissed. "Dad wants me to focus on honing my fighting skills rather than my singing voice, but that's nothing new. Oh, and he wants to meet you at some point. I haven't told him much about you, but he still wants to know who it is I hang out with so much." A look of urgency mixed with slight paranoia flashed across his face. "Your parents haven't found out about us yet, right? Your mom would kill me if she did!"

Selene chuckled, even though she understood his fear. "No, they don't know I'm seeing the son of the Septarian who killed my grandmother," she assured him. "I'm trying to figure out the right way to break it to them. We can't keep this relationship a secret forever, after all. Not if we plan to unite Monsters and Mewmans in peace."

"I know, but I think I'd feel a bit better about meeting your parents if your mom didn't know that spell..."

"I know, love, but we have time before that happens," the princess reassured him. "Now, wanna come over and practice more songs? We were working on 'Whatever it Takes' before I left for Earth, right?'

Carmel perked up at that. "I'll be there in a flash!"

* * *

 (back to Star, Marco, and Ponyhead)

Star and Ponyhead dropped out of the portal and onto a cloud-sofa with whoops of delight, while Marco landed with far less grace on the floor, face-first. "Huh?" he asked as he looked around. He found people relaxing at booths with their drinks, robotic DJ's keeping the music going, and all types of humanoids tearing up the dancefloor like no one was watching. "Where are we?" he asked, turning to Star and Ponyhead for answers.

"The Bounce Lounge!" Star explained, still relaxing on the cloud-sofa. "My favorite place to  _chill~!_ Just stay away from the edge."

"Huh?" Marco asked again as he walked away, only to scream like a girl as he nearly fell off the chessboard-like dance floor-covered cloud to the spiky ground below. From where he stood, he could see the skeletal remains of someone who hadn't been so lucky. As he flailed to keep his balance, Star yanked him away from the edge.

"Marco! Photo-booth! Photo-booth! C'mon!" the princess said excitedly, throwing him in with Ponyhead. In moments the three of them were taking fun photos and Star was having the time of her life! "Now, just you two!" she said as the first shot stopped, pointing to them before clasping her hands together. "A souvenir of the night my besties became besties, yay!" She left the photo-booth, her wand trailing hearts in its wake.

 _"Listen."_ Ponyhead hissed, getting in Marco's face once star was gone, a glare on her face.  _"We are not gonna be besties. We are not even gonna be second-besties!"_

They paused for a moment to take a super-kawaii photo of them being friends.

"Second besties? That's not even a thing!" Marco pointed out.

"Ohhh! You wanna make this a thing?!" Ponyhead demanded before another photo was taken of them looking cute and friendly. "Look here, Earth-turd. This night is really important to me! You mess that up, and you're gonna get the horn!" She aimed her alicorn at Marco's throat, then they posed adorably for another photo. "Got it?" she demanded once the photo was taken, and Marco held his hands up in surrender as she circled around him. "Good. Real. Good. Later!"

Marco clutched his hoodie where his heart was right as the last photo was taken, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes.  _OH NO, SHE DINT!_ He peeked through the curtains of the photo-booth and found Star and Ponyhead on the dance floor, tearing it up like no one was watching. "Neigh! Haha, whoa, whoo! Look at this! Neigh!" Ponyhead cheered, clearly having the time of her life as Marco crept over to Star.

"Star, I need to talk to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!" his whisper turned into an exclamation as Star dragged him to the middle of the floor and started dancing with him, spinning around with him like a top. "Star! Ponyhead threatened to-whoa!" Before he could finish his sentence, said ponyhead shoved him away, nearly sending him to his death! With a scream less girly this time, he held tight to the corner of the cloud as the skeleton below chanted  _"Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall!"_

"Marco," Star said, pulling him to safety. "Be careful!"

"Ponyhead just tried to shove me off this cloud!" Marco informed her with a frown, gesturing to the grizzly demise he nearly suffered.

"Oh... no! She just gets a little wild when she dances!" Star excused lamely. Though for the record, Ponyhead got  _really_ wild when she was dancing, as a demon boy was finding out.

"Well, she also threatened to skewer me in the photo-booth!" Marco told her, making the neck-slashing gesture with his thumb.

Star gasped. That was more than a little overboard, even by Star's standards. She couldn't really excuse it. "Yeah... she can be... possessive," star tried uncomfortably. She didn't want to admit it, but it was that possessiveness that had driven a wall between her twin and her bestie. While Selene was usually very calm, she could get very angry and possessive when she thought Ponyhead was taking too much of her sister's attention from her. That was when they were little kids, but it was why Selene never spoke to Ponyhead for more than a minute at a time now. She decided a change of scenery might help. "Ponyhead! Let's go to the Amethyst Arcade!" She called to her friend. "Marco will have more fun there!"

"No! Way! Girl!" Ponyhead replied, still making the demon boy highly uncomfortable. "I'm! Getting! Mah! Dance! On!" Her mood quickly changed when another portal opened and three shadowy figures came out of it. "Yes, you are right, Star," she said, somehow operating her Dimensional Scissors with her tongue to open a pixilated portal. "He will like the Arcade better! Let's go!"

"She's warming up to you~!" Star said in a sing-song voice, shoving Marco in before plunging in after him, the portal closing behind her.

* * *

(Meanwhile, at the Diaz Residence...)

 _"Whatever it takes!"_   Carmel sang the final chorus as Selene played a lovely violin-rendition of the song.  _"Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins! I do whatever it takes! Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains! Whatever it takes! You take me to the top, I'm ready for it! Whatever it takes! Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins! I do what it takes."_

"Now that was fun!" Selene said, setting her instrument down carefully. "You've got the notes and the expression down perfectly, Carmel!"

"And only you could make this song sound just as epic on a single instrument as it does with all the others, Selene." Carmel complimented, making Selene blush even as she smiled proudly. "Now, what song should we practice next?"

"Hmm. 'Ways to be Wicked' from Descendants 2?" the princess suggested.

"You just want an excuse to sing a duet, don't you?" Carmel teased, though Selene's singing voice was as beautiful as her music.

"You know me so well!" the girl replied unabashedly, positioning her violin and holding the bow at the ready. "Wicked ways beneath the skin, all who try it now join in."

* * *

(Amethyst Arcade)

Marco stared in awe as they dropped out of the portal. "Holy Pixels. So many video games!!"

"Yes, I knew you would like it here," Ponyhead said smugly. "This place is full of squares."

A large number of Squares - all your stereotypical nerd in appearance - gave a collective "Heyy!" in response to the insult.

"Look!" Star exclaimed, focusing on a video game. "Lance-Lance Revolution! That's perfect! You guys, go! Play!"

Marco and Ponyhead immediately snarled competitively, getting in each other's faces again. In moments, they were all set up to play.  _"Ponyhead vs. Earth-Turd!"_ "Hey!"  _"Round 1! Joust!"_

Marco and Ponyhead thrust their respective lances at empty air, each trying to impale the pixelated version of the other with their lance. "You're going down, downer!" Ponyhead trash-talked, her speech unimpaired by the fact that she was holding the lance between her teeth.

"Oh yeah?" Marco replied. "Well, your mother's a horse!"

"Ah, okay, and your point would be?" Ponyhead asked, confused by the poor attempt at an insult. They just kept trying to impale the other while Star looked delighted in the background. 

"Oh, look at you two, getting along!" the princess praised, patting them both on the back - or neck in Ponyhead's case - only to feel how sweaty they were getting. "OH! I'll go get us some nice cold ice cycles to put on your disgusting, sweaty back!" she drifted off, while the two kept jousting.

 

Not too far away, one of the robot guards approached a random Square. "Hey you, Square," he said in a gravelly voice, getting said Square's attention and holding up a photo. "Have you seen this head?" the Square shook the upper half of his body, a Square's approximate of a head-shake. "Don't lie to me, little man!"

Hearing them from the Lance-Lance Revolution game, Ponyhead gasped in horror, dropping the lance! _She had to get out of there!_ In doing so, she ended up losing to Marco.  _"You win!"_   the game's voice-over announced.

"HA! Who's the turd now~!" Marco taunted.

"Still you!" Ponyhead replied, flying away.

"Uh, I believe I'm next," a square said in a nasal voice. "But with less abusive trash-talk, please!"

* * *

(Meanwhile at the icicle stand...)

"Huh, now do I want the pointy one, or the pointier one?" A square debated while Star waited eagerly. "Ooh, it's such a tough choice!"

"Hey, Star! I'm bored!" Ponyhead said quickly as she approached her bestie, looking around nervously. "I know this other club, so let's bounce!" She spat up the Scissors, ready to leave before she could be caught.

"Sounds cool!" Star replied, oblivious to the pony's true reason for distress. "Let me just go get Marco."

"Nonononono, uh, he went on ahead!" Ponyhead lied. "He, uh, wanted to save us a good spot in the mosh-pit! Yes, that is the course of events!"

"Aw, Classic Marco!" Star said, believing the lie as she put her hands on her hips. "Always putting friends first!" She jumped through the portal, and Ponyhead followed quickly.

Meanwhile, Marco was finishing off a Square at Lance-Lance Revolution. "HA! Did you see that, Star?" he asked smugly."Try and beat that, Pointy-head!" He looked around when his taunts went unanswered, only to find his friend and her friend were nowhere to be seen. "Star? Pointy-Head?"

A heavy hand clapped his shoulder, and suddenly he was surrounded.

* * *

(Meanwhile, with Star and Ponyhead...)

The two rowdy friends were at a club called The Scum Bucket, which was popular among sea-dwellers and mer-folk. "Is this not a blast or what, B-Fly?!" Ponyhead asked as she and Star crowd-surfed.

"Yeeaaah! But I don't see Marco anywhere." the Princess pointed out.

Ponyhead scoffed without care. "You got me, gurl! And I'm way more fun!" she replied, spinning around on top of the crowd.

Now Star was confused and concerned. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Uh, haha, funny story, you're gonna love it," the pony began, a clear sign she wouldn't love it. "I kinda ditched him and left him in the other dimension, oops!" She didn't sound the least bit remorseful or repentant.

"WHAT?!" Star exclaimed, falling to the floor.  
"B-Fly!"  
"How could you do that to my best friend!?" Star demanded furiously as she picked herself up and dusted herself off.

"Best friend?! Last time I checked, your best friend was me!" Ponyhead said defensively.

"I can have more than one best friend!" Star informed her, counting her sister in that, before crossing her arms angrily. "Unless one of them is a friend-ditching liar."

Ponyhead was shocked before the guilt started to set in. "That Earth-Turn means that much to you?" she asked. She remembered the last time she'd butted heads with someone Star cared about - Selene, the twin sister. Granted, Selene matured a lot over a few short years, but the Second Princess still avoided Ponyhead when she could. Not out of fear, but out of... not quite hatred, but close to it.

Star's gaze was serious. "He's the best turd I've ever known."

Ponyhead sighed and bowed her head. Even though she didn't like it, she knew what had to be done. Her friendship with Star was at stake! "Okay." She said, her will as resolute as iron.

* * *

(Amethyst Arcade dimension)

The three guards had Marco tied to a chair and were holding a bright lamp in his face. "For the last time," one growled. "Where is she?"

"I'm telling you, I don't know!" Marco wailed.

"Not talking, eh? What if I do this?" the guard asked, flicking the light while Psycho music played.

"Stop!" Marco sobbed like it was the worst torture. "That's really annoying!"

Suddenly a portal opened, with Star and Ponyhead leaping out of it. They looked around frantically before star spotted him. "There he is!" she said, pointing dramatically in his direction when she saw the situation, she prepared a spell. "Crystal Dagger-"

"Wait, B-Fly!" Ponyhead stopped her, blocking her aim. "It's too dangerous, gurl!" She glanced in Marco's direction, then back at Star. "Hold out your hand." Star did so, and Ponyhead spat out her Dimensional Scissors.

"Your Dimensional Scissors?" Star asked, confused.

"I won't need 'em where I'm goin'," Ponyhead said, the resolution clear in her eyes. With that, she turned and headed for the guards. "Oh, hey, creeps!" she yelled, getting their attention. "I heard you're looking to ride with a pony! So come and get me!" She led them off, away from Marco, with a neighing laugh, leading them over arcade games and around sharp corners.

Meanwhile, Marco managed to free a hand when Star aimed her wand at him. "Star, wait! My hand is free-!"

Too late. "Shiny Emerald Snake-Strike!" said princess twirled around before blasting him with green snakes. Pretty much all it did was cover him in snakes and turn the ropes to snakes. Star grabbed his shoulder as he spat out a snake. "Marco, stop playing around!" With that, she yanked him off the chair.

Ponyhead kept going, relishing her final moments of freedom, using her horn to zap the games and create explosions in an attempt to disorient the guards. "Neigh! I feel so alive!" she exclaimed, before barely dodging a guard when he reached for her mane. She suddenly spotted a large group of crystal stalactites. An idea came to her, and she zapped them. Dozens of lasers went in all directions, causing dozens of explosions and bring the rock-formation down. The guards barely escaped being crushed beneath its weight.

Ponyhead laughed victoriously... only to smack hard into a game and fall down in a daze. She was quickly surrounded by the furious guards, but Star and Marco came to her defense. "Back off, creeps!" Star demanded, aiming her wand at them.

"Don't worry, Ponyhead, we got your back... of your head..." Marco said. Ponyhead smiled gratefully, realizing a bit why Star liked this guy.

The three of them prepared to battle when a booming voice filled the air. "Time to give it up, cupcake."

"Is that... King Ponyhead?" Star asked, and Ponyhead looked terrified.

Behind the guards, a massive, blue-maned and bearded stallion-head with a crown arose, shocking Marco into speechlessness. "Oh, hello, Daddy," Ponyhead greeted a bit timidly.

"Hello, Princess," her father greeted emotionlessly.

"What is he doing here?" Star whispered to Ponyhead behind her wand.

"Oh, B-Fly, it's the end of the line for me," Ponyhead lamented. "But at least I got in one last night of fun with you, gurl."

"One last night? Before what?"

It was all Ponyhead could do not to cry as she admitted the horrible truth. "Before this: I'm going to St. O's!"

Star gasped in absolute horror. "Not Saint Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses?!" An image of lightning and a crash of thunder over a dark-looking castle, and Ponyhead screaming as she was dragged on a conveyer belt inside the gates filled their minds.

"It's true, I did it to myself," Ponyhead admitted. "I'm headed to the slammer!"

"It's reform school, cupcake, not jail," King Ponyhead corrected. "Although, admittedly, it's a lot like jail."

Star turned to her friend. "Oh, Ponyhead, you knew you'd get sent to St. Olga's but you still came back to save Marco!" She was touched.

"Oh, well, you know," Ponyhead said bashfully. "It's hard to say it, but he is your other bestie. Okay, I said it."

"Ohh, come here!" Star said, holding her arms wide open. Ponyhead flew happily into her arms.  _"Hugs!"_ Star even pulled Marco into the hug. He was her other bestie, after all, aside from her twin.

Unfortunately, the hug-fest couldn't last forever, as one of the guard-bots from St' O's came forward with a set of reins. "Alright, Princess. Time to go," he said in that raspy voice.

"Bye, Ponyhead! I'm gonna miss you!" Star called as the guards led the rebellious princess away.

"Hey, Ponyhead," Marco called, making her stop and look back at him. He had a genuine look of kindness in his eyes. "Good luck in princess jail."

Ponyhead smiled. "Aw, thanks, Earth-Tur-! I mean, thank you, Marco." she corrected herself. "But don't worry! No jail can hold onto me for long!! Whaa-ha-ha-hoo!!" And with those last words, she was dragged into the portal, her disco music silenced once she was gone.

"Ah, kids," King Ponyhead said bitterly. "You have 'em, and then you wish they weren't around." And with that, he disappeared into the portal as well.

"Yay!" Star cheered happily as she came up beside Marco. "My besties  _are_ besties!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't go that far," Marco drawled before he realized something with horror. "Hey! We're stuck in another dimension!" he realized, gripping his hair, eyes bugging in alarm.

"Oh no, we're not~!" Star said in a sing-song voice, holding up the Dimensional Scissors and sticking out her tongue as Ponyhead would.

"Whoa!" Marco said in awe, realizing what this meant.

"Now we can go anywhere we want," Star said, holding her hands up above her head happily. "Anywhere in the entire universe!"

"I know just the place!" Marco said with a tired smile. And thus they returned home to eat a fresh batch of Marco's Super-Awesome Nachos with Selene and... a teenage Lizard.

"So... who's this guy, and why aren't we kicking his butt?" Star asked between bites.

"This is Carmel, and we're not kicking his butt because I said so," Selene said, passing the plate of nachos to said Lizard.

"I'll be gone before morning, so don't worry," he said after swallowing a few chips.

Star and Marco just looked at each other and shrugged. All they could figure was Selene had defended herself with music and now he wanted to hang out with her. She had that effect on monsters, after all.


	4. Matchmaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star accidentally turns her math teacher into a troll, and tries to get one of Ludo's goons to fall in love with her. Selene ties up the loose ends when things don't work out.

(Echo Creek Academy, Earth)

It was Star and Selene Butterfly's first real day at school, just a day after Ponyhead got sent to St. O's. They followed Marco into the bustling school. "I like red, I like hoodies, so I bought a dozen of them," Marco was explaining.

"Hey, it's the magic girls!" a classmate shouted. Star and Selene quickly found themselves being greeted by at least a dozen students and a janitor.

"Hi, new friends! HI!!!" Star greeted cheerfully while Selene waved politely. "Everyone's so cool here, Marco! It makes me wish my parents had tossed me out of the castle years ago!"

"Indeed," Selene agreed. "It's fun to have so many friends."

"Oh, you haven't even met the coolest guys," Marco said, pointing down the hall to two boys. One was a bit taller with medium-brown skin, glasses, brown hair, and a blue-and-white striped t-shirt, while the other was short, fat, with ginger hair, freckles, and a black t-shirt that didn't fully cover his stomach. "Alfonzo and Ferguson."

"Quick!" the one with glasses said urgently, elbowing the fat one. "Here she comes!"

As a sophomore girl in a purple dress drew near, Ferguson pulled up his t-shirt to reveal the face he'd drawn on his man-boobs and stomach. Placing his hands on his stomach, he made it look like his stomach was talking as he began to flirt with the girl. "Hey, hey, are those books? Where're you going with those books? Do you like to read-?" Before he could say more, the girl, disgusted and offended, slapped him in the face, than slapped his stomach's face, before storming off.

"Oh, dear," Alfonzo said awkwardly.

Marco just stared in bewilderment. "They're usually cooler."

"If you say so," Selene said doubtfully.

"I need to fix Ferguson up." Star decided, making her twin roll her eyes.

At that moment, a girl with bobbed blond hair with a natural blue streak, a clam-shell necklace, and a laid-back expression rolled by on a skateboard. Marco gasped, hearts of infatuation filling his eyes. "Jackie Lynn Thomas!" He squeaked, his admiration evident.

"Hey, Butterfly Twins!" Jackie greeted as she skated past them.

"Hi, Jackie!!" Star replied gleefully, while Selene waved and Marco just stared like a love-struck idiot, the hearts in his eyes actually beating. Star immediately noticed and grabbed his arm. "I need to fix  _you_ up!"

"What?"

"Oh, come on!" Star prodded, tossing her wand back and forth between her hands. "I'm almost as good at matchmaking as I am at magic!" Of course, her wand seemed to choose to prove her wrong in the most comical fashion by blasting Marco in the face, singeing said face and burning his hair.

"I'm good." Marco decided.

"Yeah, matchmaking doesn't always work, Star," Selene said, trying to get Star to forget the idea of meddling with romance as they headed for class. "There are some things that just need to happen naturally."

"Says the twin who's never had a boyfriend!" Star teased.

"I  _do_ have a boyfriend." Selene pointed out. "I met him before you ever met Tom!"

"What?! Why am I only learning this now?!" the older twin demanded, grabbing the younger by the front of her dress and shaking her.

"You never asked," Selene replied simply, brushing off her sister's hands and walking into the classroom.

"You never asked your sister if she had a boyfriend?" Marco asked.

"I... just thought she wasn't interested in dating..." Star admitted.

* * *

Selene, Star, and Marco all sat in the same row at the front of the classroom. Marco was sitting quietly, Selene was leafing through a heavy-looking book, and Star was drawing on her desk with a pencil. "Look-look-look-look-look!" Star said to Marco excitedly. "It's my name! It's my name with a star and inside of a butterfly, and two hearts! AND a spider!"

Her excitement was cut short when their morbidly obese math teacher Ms. Skullnik slammed her graded test sheet down on her desk. The look she was giving Star could've sent even the most terrifying monster running to its mama with its tail between its legs. "As you can see, class," she said in that horrible voice. "Most of you have done a pathetic job."

"Not me~! I got an F for FANTASTIC!" Star said, showing Marco her grade.

"That's an F for FAIL!" Marco corrected.

"Huh?" Star asked, clearly confused.

"What, you don't have tests on Mewni?" the boy asked.

"Oh, we have tests, but more concerning magic capabilities than ones ability to add numbers," Selene explained. "So what did you get?"

"Only the best grade you can get," Marco said proudly. "A+, with a smiley face!"

"Sweet so did I!" Selene said, showing her score. Indeed, she and Marco had both done incredibly well.

Star stared at the high scores in awed determination. "Ooooh! I want the best one, too!" she announced, getting up and heading over to Ms. Skullnik's desk.

"Wait, don't!" Marco warned, trying and failing to stop her.

"Oh, Ms. Skullnik~!" Star called as she approached the troll-like woman writing on the chalkboard. Said woman crushed the piece of chalk she was writing with and turned to face her with a growl. "Heeeeey, Skullzy, can you please do me, a tiny favor and turn my F into an A?"

"You're whining about a lousy grade?" Skullnik demanded, getting in her face. "I finally got a guy with a boat, and he left me at the dock!"

"The dock?" Star asked, looking confused.

"The dock isn't the important part!!" the teacher yelled, spraying saliva from her massive mouth while Star just chewed at one of her wand's wings. "I guess I'm doomed to dry land."

And suddenly, Star's wand flashed and chimed as she got an idea! "I've got it! I'll cast a spell to get you the perfect guy, and then you can give me the perfect grade!" she said.

"What?!" Skullnik asked, looking a bit scared.

"Star, don't-!" Selene exclaimed, getting up to stop her impulsive twin, but she was just a tad too slow.

"Man-Magnet..." "Wait!" "Love-storm!" Star waved her wand, and a green glow encased Skullnik. But instead of the intended effect, it turned her into an actual troll.

"Star, what did you do?!" Marco demanded, waving his arms for emphasis.

"I-I think I turned her into a troll...?" the confused princess replied, eyes darting back and forth between Marco and the troll.

The whole class was silent before a jock threw a fist in the air and cheered "Star Butterfly rules!" The rest of the class cheered and whooped with him while Selene just stared at them like they were all idiots.

"AAAHH!!" I'm hideous!!!" Skullnik sobbed, stamping her feet like a little kid.

"Quick, change her back!" Marco urged.

"Yeah, okay," Star laughed nervously. "Okay! Yeah, Lightning-Change-Back!" Again, instead of the intended effect, it teleported them back to Star and Selene's room in the Diaz house, causing Skullnik to start screaming and crying again.

"Huh, where are we?" Star asked.

"You just zapped us back to the house!" Marco was kinda freaking out now.

"Huh. Wonder how I did that?" Star wondered out loud. "It could really come in handy for when I don't feel like using my legs!" And Skullnik was still screaming.

Just outside the window, Buff Frog was spying on them through the binoculars again. With an evil chuckle, he backed away.

* * *

(Castle Avarious)

Inside the castle, a portal was ripped into existence and Buff Frog hopped through. "Ludo, Master," he said, saluting the stupid little Kappa. "Star and Selene Butterfly have come home from School early today, and they seem... distracted." He grinned wickedly at the end.

Ludo licked his single scoop of strawberry ice cream. "Distracted?" he asked before his beak morphed into a sinister grin. "Excellent! This is the moment I've been waiting for!" He licked the ice cream again before continuing. "No one's at their best when they're... distracted! Hahaha!" He fell back in his chair, eating more of his ice cream before dropping it onto the stack of pillows. "Finally, I'll get my hands on those glorious wands! When they merge and transform, it'll match my hat! Then I'll get my big-boy body!" He cackled as he imagined what might be. "I'll kick down the palace, zip-zap-zippy-zap, and I'm a lifeguard!" The image in his mind switched from the overly-buff Ludo kicking down the palace walls and zapping Mewmans to him in a pool with at least six monster ladies around him or clinging to his muscular arms. The image then returned to Ludo on his pillow-throne. "One, two, three!"

"Is that CPR?" the Bearicorn flanking the throne asked.

"SILENCE!!!!" Ludo screeched, annoyed that his fantasy had been interrupted. "Yes, unfortunately, I was too late."

* * *

(Diaz Residence, Star and Selene's room)

The twins and Marco had tied up the still sobbing, still trollified Ms. Skullnik, and Marco was trying to bail all the tears out the window.

"Please don't cry, Ms. Skullnik," Star pleaded as Selene summoned more handkerchiefs for the troll-woman.

"Star, we can't keep stalling!" Marco said, starting to lose his patience with the whole situation. "Even Selene doesn't know how to undo this, so you're gonna have to call your mom. She'll know how to reverse the spell.

Star gasped in horror at the very thought. "NO!! I can't ask for help! If my parents find out about this, they're gonna send me to... St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!!" Star explained, imagining the horrible things that would be done to her, and even Selene looked absolutely terrified at the mention of it.

"It's a terrible, horrible place and no one who goes there ever comes out the same!" Selene continued, having heard the horrible rumors ever since she was small. Despite being the calmer and clearer-headed twin, the idea of either of them winding up there was terrifying to her. Both princesses resorted to screaming bloody murder to better explain what they thought of that place.

"Is it all out yet?" Marco asked when they paused their screaming.

"Almost." The twins said in unison, before giving one last shriek. "Okay, we're done."

"Look Star," Marco said, putting one hand on her shoulder. "You just need to get the information without letting her know what's going on. You know, dance around the truth."

Star perked up at that. "I'm a great dancer!" She demonstrated by dancing over to her magic mirror on the wall. When she got over to it, she parted the curtains in front of it and closed her eyes. "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, call Mom." she recited.

"CALLING TOM." The mirror replied, calling the wrong number.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa!" Star protested, but it was too late. The demon picked up.

"Star!" he said, clearly pleasantly surprised to receive a call from her after their break-up.

"No. No!" Star said firmly, frowning at him.

"W-wait! You're here, I'm here," the demon tried, smiling hopefully.

"She said, 'Call Mom,' not Tom," Selene said, storming over and preparing to hang up on him.

"Star, Selene, DON'T HANG UP!!" Too late, they hung up on him.

"You've really gotta delete him off your mirror," Selene said, crossing her arms. Star just nodded in agreement as the mirror called their mom.

A moment, said Queen appeared on-screen. "Ah, Star and Selene, darling, what a pleasant surprise," she said in an accent quite similar to Selene's.

"Hi, Mom!" Selene said with a smile.

"So, Mom, let's just say that someone accidentally turned someone into a troll with a wand," Star began nervously. "Not that I would do that, because that'd be completely irresponsible-"

Before she could finish, there was a loud crash that shook the house, putting a panicked look on all of their faces, followed by a scream and Marco running to the other side of the room. "Girls, what is going on?" Moon demanded.

"Gotta go, bye!" Star said quickly as both girls closed the curtains, thus hanging up. "What happened?!" she demanded, facing Marco.

"SHE JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW!!" Marco screeched in panic as the river of tears drained out the hole in the wall.

Skullnik, still tied up, attempted to flee, only to be tackled by Marco, and then Star and Selene. "Wow, good job, Marco!" Star praised the dazed boy.

"Mhoa, mood myob, Marco!" a familiar and hated voice mocked.

The three teens looked up to see the same small army of monsters just a few yards away. "Ludo! What are you doing here?" Selene demanded.

"Catching you two at your most distracted!" Ludo screeched.

"What? I have been way more distracted than this!" Star denied.

"And I don't get distracted, idiot," Selene added, glaring at her foe.

"I don't know, you seem... pretty distracted," Ludo argued.

"Nah, not really." The twins replied.

"Oh well. WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE!?" Ludo suddenly screamed, looking terrified.

"Wuh, where?" Star asked, falling into his trap, while Selene didn't even blink.

"Get them!" Ludo ordered, and the monsters gave a battle cry as they began their attack, tramping Ms. Skullnik in their attempt to get to Marco and the princesses. Ludo himself scaled the neck of the Giraffe-man to hop onto the bat-man's back so he could ride into battle.

Star leaped into the air from her battle-stance, twirling a few times as she did. "Dagger-Crystal Heart Attack!" she cast, blasting hearts from her wand in rapid succession. "Feel the love!" The monsters groaned in pain as they were peppered with dozens of dagger-sharp hearts with eyes.

"I'm obligated to warn you, I'm a green belt... with a stripe!" Marco warned the three monsters that ganged up on him as he tied a strip of cloth around his brow.

"OHHH!" The Bearicorn mocked, only to take the first hit with the rake Marco picked up and span around with expert skill, easily pummeling them... until a horned monster guy with big muscles showed up.

Meanwhile, Selene was using her own, less harmful spells to subdue her enemies. "Macarena Madness!" she cast, and the five monsters who got caught in the blast started dancing to said song. They actually liked the song, but they couldn't stop even if they tried.

A little ways away, Star bit Buff Frog's arm like a rabid dog, causing him to scream in pain. She was knocked away by a crocodile man, but with a rapid spin, she turned the attack on a bull-man, hitting him in the head with her wand hard enough to make a huge lump there. When she saw Marco was getting pummeled by the horned monster, she used a Rainbow blast to rescue him Said Rainbow blast knocked the monster into Ms. Skullnik, who was trying to get away from the chaos. He garbled out an apology and got up to help her, only to be entranced by her beauty(?). Ms. Skullnik was equally enamored, and they stared into each other's eyes as though they'd found true love!

"Narwhal Blast! Narwhal Blast!" Star cast not too far away, pausing when she saw the romantic(?) sight of her math teacher and the monster holding hands and smiling. "Aw, Narwhal Blast!" she cooed, blasting the monster about to attack her from behind while gazing at the new pair adoringly. The horned monster blabbered something to Ms. Skullnik, who stared at him in adoration, before heading back to the fight, bidding her farewell. Ms. Skullnik stared after him, infatuation clear in her eyes.

Back in the fight, Marco took down several with a punch of a kick when Star used her wand to blast her over to him. "Hey Marco, you and Selene can handle this on your own for a couple of minutes, right?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, no problem!" the boy replied optimistically while Selene continued her casting.

"Cool, thanks!" Star thanked him before hurrying away. Marco then saw that any monster who wasn't asleep, knocked out, or dancing had gathered around to beat the shit out of him. "Oh, Ms. Skullnik~!" Star called, hurrying over to her teacher, who was somehow climbing over the fence.

"What?" the troll woman asked.

"See that monster over there?" star asked, pointing to the macho-looking horned monster throwing Marco like a boulder. "He thinks you're cute!"

"Really?" Skullnik asked eagerly, falling off the fence and shaking her hands like a love-sick teenager about to talk to her first crush. "Oooh, what should I do?"

"Wait right here," Star advised, running up to the monster, who was drawing his sword to slay Marco. "Hey there, Monster Guy, see that troll over there?" She pointed in Ms. Skullnik's direction. The monster guy needed no further instruction and ran off to her. Star watched him go,m proud of her match-making work.

"STAR!!!" Marco screamed, bringing her attention back to the battle as he was now running from the horde.

Selene joined Star at her side, each holding her wand high. "Hey, guys! We think you forgot something!" They each lit up their wands to make their point.

The monsters came to a halt, Ludo still riding on the bat's back. "Get the wands!" he ordered, and they turned on Star and Selene.

They were prepared for this, however. "TURBO-NUCLEAR BUTTERFLY-MELODY BLAST!" they shouted, their wands flaring bright with power that froze the monsters in terror. Everyone, including Marco, started screaming. "Not again!" Ludo wailed. A second later, the wands unleashed an explosion of light, rainbows, music, and butterflies, singeing the yard, starting several small fires, and knocking the monsters out cold. Ludo fell from the sky with a pained grunt, leaving Star and Selene as the only ones standing.

"Whoa-hohoho!" Star laughed, amazed by the powerful spell she and her twin had unleashed together.

"Take that, jerks!" Selene said in a rare moment of excitement, jumping up with a fist=pump. Marco could only whimper in fear at what he had witnessed. Truly, he hoped to never get on their bad side.

"Get up!" Ludo commanded, shaking a badly injured monster. "GET UP!!" He froze, however when Star and Selene loomed over him.

"Told ya we weren't distracted- hey, did I just kill that guy?" Star asked, pointing to the monster that wouldn't get up.

"No, he's not dead!" Ludo face-palmed. "He's probably just bleeding internally and being a TOTAL BABY ABOUT IT!!" he screamed the last part in his minion's face.

"I got this," Selene said, lightly tapping the monster on the head with her wand. Ludo flinched away, expecting his minion to explode, but instead, he was enveloped in silvery-lilac-colored magic that healed his wounds. The monster got to his feet, and instead of attacking Selene, he smiled kindly and patted her on the head. "Heehee! You're welcome." the princess replied, ignoring her twin's awed star and Ludo's confused one.

Then Ludo snapped out of it. "Stupid boys!" he snarled, taking out his dimensional scissors and ripping a portal into existence. "Get up, you dipsticks!" The monsters, many of them in pain from the last attack, limped away in retreat.

"Ooh, you're so muscly!" Skullnik said, and when Star, Selene, and Marco looked, they saw the troll woman and the monster guy walking arm-in-arm. Marco was grossed out, but Star was delighted. Selene was also pleased with the turn of events.

"So, now that I hooked you up, how 'bout that A?" Star asked Skullnik.

"Honey, please!" Skullnik waved her off. "I'd give you an A+ if I was still a teacher! I'm setting sail with Captain Triceps here!"

"What about my A?" Star demanded as the new couple walked off.

"Try studying," Skullnik advised.

While Marco made the wah-wah sound of defeat, Selene jogged up to them. "Here, you two," she said, handing them a coupon for a spa day. "Just tell 'em Princess Selene butterfly sent you and you'll get a full three days of pampering and relaxation free of charge." Skullnik pulled the princess in for a hug of thanks while her new man looked pleased with the opportunity to get some well-deserved relaxation at the Royal Family's expense.

* * *

(The Next Day at Echo Creek Academy...)

"So, anyway, long story short," Star explained to the class from her desk. "Ms. Skullnik ran off with this weird man-bull-guy-thing to another dimension and now she is gone forever." She gestured to the empty desk at the front of the class to make her point.

"I even gave them a coupon to a resort," Selene added. "There are perks to being royalty."

The class was silent for a moment before the jock fist-pumped again. "The Butterfly Twins rule!" he cheered, and the whole class surrounded them with cheers and thanks, pushing Marco out of the way.

"Wow, Star, Selene! That is so rad, girls!" Jackie praised.

"Thanks!" The Twins said as Star grabbed Marco's arm. "But actually, It's  _Marco_ who deserves  _all the credit!_ "

"Really? That's awesome!" Jackie said, turning her gaze to said teen, who could only giggle and blush nervously. The class cheered for him, but their celebration was cut short when a portal opened and a familiar-sounding scream filled the air. The next instant, the still-trollified Ms. Skullnik fell gracelessly out of the portal and smashed her desk.

"Ms. Skullnik?!" Marco said, thoroughly confused.

"He dumped me, I think," the troll woman said. "I think. I don't know! I couldn't understand a word he was saying!!"

"He WHAT?!" Selene exclaimed, and her face began to turn red with rage.

"Welcome back, Skullzers!" Star said, waving to her.

Skullnik turned on the entire class with a glare. "Get ready for the worst pop-quiz of your lives!" she sneered.

The entire class groaned in dread, and since Star and Selene had credited Marco with all this, they blamed their new suffering on him. "Sorry, Marco," Star whispered as he sat back down. "I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Jackie."

"Are you kidding?" he asked, turning to her with a huge smile. "That's the most she's ever talked to me!"

Star gasped in realization. "Then that means... I'm even better at matchmaking than I am at magic!" And once again as she tossed her wand between her hands, she accidentally blasted Marco's face with magic. This time it gave his head huge butterfly wings and antenna, one of which was on fire.

"Psst, Star, I'm gonna need the Dimensional Scissors after class," Selene whispered to her twin.

"Okay, but what for?" Star whispered back, passing her said device.

"The less you know, Star, the better." Was all she replied.

* * *

(Later that day, in another dimension...)

The man-bull-guy who'd dumped Skullnik after less than 24 hours sat relaxing in his room in Ludo's castle when a portal was ripped into existence. From it emerged a figure in a black cloak. "I heard you made a certain troll-woman very depressed," the figure said in a quiet, dangerously cheerful voice. "And a princess very, very angry. I'm here to make sure you don't forget what happens when you toy with a troll's heart!" The cloaked figure drew a wicked looking blade, and with a scream, blood splattered the wall.

Even later that night, the same cloaked figure left a wrapped box with a note on Skullnik's doorstep, before vanishing without a trace. When Skullnik read the note the next morning, she smiled softly and wiped a small tear from her eye.

_'Dear Skullnik,_

_This may sound cliche, but true beauty comes from within. I truly believe that one day, you will find a man who loves you both inside and out. And be he man or Monster, I'll support it._

_Sincerely,_

_Princess Selene Butterfly of Mewni'_

Opening the box, she found a picture of her latest ex holding up a sign that said  _"Sorry I was a jerk! I don't deserve you!"_ He also sported several bruises, a black eye, and had a dagger stuck in his shoulder. The troll-woman smiled, touched that one of her students would go to the trouble to avenge her broken heart. "A+, honey," she said, heading back inside to start her day. "A+ for life."


	5. School Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Star tries to help her new school's football team, things get really out of hand. Meanwhile, Brittney Wong learns that you should not insult anyone or anything Selene cares about, because she will mess you up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we will be seeing more of Carmel in this episode!

(Echo Creek Academy, Earth. Spirit Week)

"Ohmigosh, ohmigosh!" Star said excitedly from the bleachers of the school's football field. "My very first pep-rally! I am so excited!" She hit a passing beach ball with her wand, keeping it going and conjuring a cute little bug-thing that Marco caught.

"When aren't you excited?" he asked.

"When she's bored," Selene deadpanned. "Then she's annoying for another reason."

"Shh!" the elder twin shushed them both.

"And now, Brittney Wong," Principal Skeeves introduced using the microphone. "Who became head cheerleader on her own and not because her father made a generous donation tot he school." The beachball hit him in the face, and the spirit team came on the field to the cheers of the school.

"Go, Echo Creek! Let's try not to get beat! Go, Echo Creek! Let's try not to get beat!" They cheered, carrying their leader onto the field. "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" Brittney used her underlings as stairs to descend from her perch, then snatched the mic from the principal. "Make some noise if you love the Awesome Opossums!" she said like a stereotypical popular girl.

"I love opossums!" Star cheered wildly as the school cheered. "They carry their babies on their back!"

"You know she's talking about our football team, right?" Marco asked. "We're going up against the Warriors." He shuddered in fear.

"Warriors?" Star asked.

"Our rivals from Silver Hill Prep," Alfonzo explained.

"Every year, their team slaughters our guys." Marco continued.

"It's gonna be a bloodbath," Skullnik growled, eating a whole fried chicken and pulling out the intact skeleton.

"That's terrible!" Star exclaimed, turning to her twin and Marco. "We MUST do something!"

"Well, you could join the Spirit Committee," Marco suggested. "Those kids are relentless when it comes to supporting the team."

"OOOOOOOOOPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!!" one of the male cheerleaders exclaimed, holding up two flags as he did the splits.

"Relentless." Marco summed up.

"What a great idea!" Star exclaimed, grabbing both Marco's and Selene's wrists to drag them with her. "We better go pick up some supplies!"

"As fun as that sounds," Marco said, pulling his captured arm out of his hoodie sleeve. "You can go without me."

"Okay," Star said, then glanced at her twin. "What about you, Sis?"

"I will admit, I'm curious about this," the paler twin replied, standing up to go with her. "I'll come with."

"C'mon, then!" Star exclaimed, making Selene give a small yelp as she dragged her off. They stopped by Skullnik for a moment before continuing. Said troll woman was busy pulling the meat of a drumstick clean off the bone. "Hey, Skullzy, what's your favorite weapon?" Star asked her.

"Battle-ax," Skullnik replied. Star clicked her tongue at her with a wink and dragged Selene after her.

"And now, our new mascot, that I never approved of," Brittney continued on the field. "The 'Awesome Opossum'!" She looked so unexcited, her boredom was palpable.

With that, a chubby kid in a ratty possum costume came onto the field. "Wha-hoo! Alright! C'mon, O- ah, no..." In his jumping and cheering, his pants fell off, leaving him a bit embarrassed.

"Where's the real possum?" Marco asked Alfonzo in the bleachers. "Did the Warriors steal it again? Those jerks!!"

"Sadly, the real possum was not playing possum." the kid explained. Indeed, a funeral had been held for the late mascot.

On the field, the mascot was doing a weird dance. "I hiss, I bite, I shake my tail all night!" The mascot cracked his tail like a whip, and Ferguson's face was revealed!

"Hey, that's Ferguson!" Marco said with a smile as he recognized his friend.

"He is our new mascot!" Alfonzo explained as he cheered.

And then Marco realized something. "Oh, no! That means the Warriors are gonna steal Ferguson!"

"Ha-ha! Oh, that's silly!" Alfonzo assured him.

"The only thing that's silly," Marco argued. "is how the warriors are gonna look when they try to steal my friend."

* * *

(Meanwhile, inside the school...)

Star and Selene ran down the hallway to the room the Spirit Committee was using, stopping at the trophy case. "Oh, so many brave young men," Star said sadly, tearing up as she gazed at the old photos. "So many tragic losses." Selene and Star both fogged the glass with their breath and drew sad faces on it.

* * *

(Back to Marco...)

Marco hid behind the lockers, a look of grim determination in his narrowed eyes. "Alpha-team one, commencing security sweep for the Warriors," he said, holding his wrist close to his mouth like he was talking into a spy-watch. Keeping to the shadows, he quickly moved from one side of the hall to the other. The boy was on a mission: to protect his buddy from their rivals! He was soon standing at the trophy case when he was caught off guard.

"Oh, Marco," Star sighed, causing him to panic and fall down. "How can we prevent another tragic loss to our team?" the princess asked as she and Selene helped him up.

"Well, if I knew anything about football," Marco said with a sneaky look on his face. "I'd use the element of surprise!"

"Of course, of course, of course," the twins agreed thoughtfully, nodding along.

"Spritz 'em! Bring out the kitty-cat-offense," Marco continued.

"YES!" Star immediately agreed to that part.

"Ooh, maybe even throw a couple of big bombs!"

"BOMBS! Yeah, I've gotta go tell that to the Spirit Committee," Selene smiled. "Bye~!"

And with that, the twins ran off, and Marco went back to being sneaky. "We have it all clear," he said into his wrist. "Move, move, move!"

"Ugh," Ferguson groaned as Alfonzo shoved him down the hall. "This is not the kind of respect a guy in a possum-suit deserves."

* * *

(In the Gym...)

"Don't worry, Sabrina," Brittney said into her megaphone. "The Spirit Boys are gonna catch you. Grow some pompoms!" Said dark-haired cheer-captain was sitting back in a chair, "supervising."

Sabrina gulped, jumped onto the trampoline, did several front-flips in the air, but before the Spirit Boys could catch her, Star kicked the door open, distracting them and causing Sabrina to eat it hard and hit the floor.

"What the?!" the cheer captain demanded as Star stormed over to one of the cheerleaders while Selene entered at a much more sedate pace.

"Do these explode?" Star asked, inspecting a cheerleader's pompoms. She then removed the handle from one with her teeth like it was the ring on a grenade and threw the pompom part at a Spirit Boy. It, of course, did nothing when it hit him in the face. "Maybe we can set them on fire!" she suggested, charging up her wand, only to be interrupted.

"Uh, we're kinda in the middle of something." Brittney Wong said rudely, though it did prevent another fire caused by Star.

"You're the leader! What's the plan?" Star demanded before she started gnawing on the bell of her wand.

"Eheh! This year we have a secret weapon," the snob said, clearly pleased that someone was taking an interest and acknowledging her as a leader. She snapped her fingers, and the other cheerleaders formed a line and started shaking their butts. "We're gonna distract them with our booty-shaking dance moves! Uh-huh!"

Star and Selene both looked weirded out and more than a bit mortified as they momentarily watched the cheerleaders poor attempt at a twerk. "Do you know nothing of combat?" the elder twin asked at last. "No Warrior is gonna be distracted by Chantel's booty!" Said girl immediately stopped, looking self-conscious.

"She doesn't mean it as an insult, Chantel," Selene assured her. "Don't take it personally."

"Lucky for you," Star continued. "My mom assigned the Royal Guards as our babysitters.

_(Flashback!)_

_A burly-looking guard knelt on one knee before 3-year-old Star and Selene, an old plush monster doll in his fist. "You know you've done it right when you hear the neck snap," he instructed them, before gripping the doll's head and twisting its neck until stuffing came out._

_"Yay!" little Star cheered, jumping up and down as she clapped her little hands. Selene, however, burst into tears of horror._

_(End Flashback!)_

Star chuckled at the fond memory while Selene shuddered until Brittney cut in. "I know on Planet Moonie or wherever it is you're from it may be okay to be stupid," she said in the most patronizing voice. "But no pesky magical foreigner ins gonna question my leadership! You're officially banned from the Spirit Committee!" She then flipped her hair so hard it cracked like a whip.

"Fine," Star said with a frown before getting intense. "Looks like it's all up to me."

"OKAY! THANKS FOR COMING OUT!" the snob said into a megaphone to chase her off. "COME BACK  _NEVER!_ " She put down the megaphone with a disgusted sigh, then realized the other new girl was still there, glaring at her coldly. "What? Don't tell me you've got some ridiculous reason to question my leadership?"

"No, I simply wish to have a word with you, if I may?" Selene replied, her voice calm as ever. And while Brittney didn't pick up on the rage building behind the calm, even tone, the other cheerleaders sure did.

"Ugh, fine," Brittney relented, not wanting to seem completely unreasonable. "But make it quick."

"Won't take more than a minute," Selene assured her with a smile. "And I'll use small words since your itty-bitty mind will understand: Slander the Butterfly name by calling me or my sister stupid one more time, and I won't hesitate to throw you in the darkest, dampest, coldest, smelliest cell in the dungeon of Butterfly Castle, where you will never be heard from again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" As she spoke, the dark blue color of her eyes seemed to turn an eerie shade of purple and creep into her sclera, making her look even paler by contrast. Her cheek emblems began to glow, causing her hair to float and billow in an invisible wind. The Notestone of her wand visibly turned a darker shade, as well.

Unnerved, Brittney could only gulp and offer a small nod as she carefully backed away.

The purple instantly receded, Selene's cheek marks stopped glowing, and her hair lay straight and calm as ever like nothing ever happened. She gave Brittney a brilliant smile, bright as sunlight reflected off fresh-driven snow. "Wonderful. Glad we had this talk," She said with a cheerful calm as she headed for the door. "Later, everybody! Good luck!" Though as soon as she closed the door behind her, she slumped and grumbled, "You're all gonna need it." before walking off to find Star.

* * *

_(With Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo...)_

"Okay," Marco said as he and Alfonzo flanked Ferguson, who was still dressed up like a possum. "If a Warrior tries to kidnap you, blow on this stranger-danger whistle." He dug a whistle out of his pocket and offered it to his moronic friend.

"This is ridiculous," Ferguson said as he pushed Marco's hand away. "I just wanted to dress up like a possum to pick up on ladies!" He tried to look good but failed miserably for a variety of reasons.

"Hey!" Marco snapped, flicking up the upper half of the costume's head. "This whistle's gonna save your life! Put it in your mouth!" He then tried to force it into Ferguson's mouth. "Do it!"

"No!" the red-head refused, fighting to keep it away.

"Blow it!"

"Never! You get it away from me!"

"Let me hear you blow!"

Meanwhile, Star and Selene approached a Dumpster behind the school. While Star looked inside, Selene stood guard. Inside, four ragged-looking alley-cats were feasting on a hunk of old meat. "Are you guys ready to be part of my kitty-cat offense?" Star asked them eagerly. One ginger cat who was missing an eye looked up at her and gave a disinterested mew before going back to its meal. "Ugh, fine..." Star sighed, preparing to dive in. "Then I guess we gotta do this the hard way." She got onto the edge of the Dumpster, and with a yell of "KITTIES!" she dove in. Garbage flew, cats yowled. The lid shut just as several blasts of multi-colored magic went off. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW!"

"Need some help in there, sis?" Selene offered, spinning her wand in her hand.

The lid opened, and Star stuck her head out. "Nope! I got it!" she assured her twin with a salute.

* * *

_(After school at the Diaz Residence...)_

Marco stared through the closed blinds of his bedroom window, eyes peeled for trouble. "Why can't I go home?" Ferguson whined as Marco left the window, rolling his eyes. "Dude, it's Taco-Wednesday! It's a day we eat all the left-overs from Taco-Tuesday!"

"Because your house would be the first place the Warriors look when they try to kidnap you!" Marco reminded him.

"It kinda feels like  _you're_ trying to kidnap me."

"I'd watch that kinda talk if you ever wanna see your parents again..." Marco hissed, sounding very much like a kidnapper.

"MARCO!" Star yelled, as she often did. Opening the blind, the boy saw Star clinging to the telephone wire like an upside-down squirrel... while gripping the tail of one as it tried to scurry away. "Heeey, Marco, do you have any highly-flammable liquids?" she asked, as though it was a perfectly innocent question.

"I dunno, check the garage," Marco suggested.

"Cool, thanks~!" Star sang as she let go, taking the squirrel with her. It gave a high-pitched scream before Marco closed the blinds again.

"Alright-" Marco returned his attention to his idiot friend.

"Man, I bet I could get a lot of action if I had a real prehensile tail," he was speculating to Alfonzo.

"Oh, yeah!" the third boy agreed whole-heartedly.

"Hey, ladies, you care for a drink?" Ferguson acted out. "Wha!" He cracked the tail like a whip at a can of soda, which only resulted in knocking the can into Marco's laptop, spilling soda all over it and ruining it. The boys just stared in horror.

Meanwhile, as star prepared her secret weapons, Selene began her own preparations by gathering some birds, the laser-puppies, and several spiders. "Alright, my friends, it's time to take one for the team," she said, before casting a spell. "Mega-Musical Mutation Beam!"

* * *

_(Game night, Echo Creek Academy Football Field...)_

The bleachers for the home and visiting teams were packed as the Spirit Committee came onto the field to cheer the Opossums on. "2, 4, 6, 8, DISTRACT THEM WITH OUR BOOTY SHAKE!" The girls even held their pompoms over their butts to make them look bigger.

"Idiot bimbo," Selene grumbled from where she stood in the shadows of the bleachers for the home team, watching as both teams took to the field. "Man, the Warriors really do look imposing," she observed. "And our guys... a little underwhelming. I hope the defenses and offenses Star and I set up will be enough..."

"Thanks for inviting me to watch," Caramel said as he came to stand beside her. "But why aren't we sitting with the rest of your peers?"

"Because I got us the best seats in the house," Selene said, using her wand to create two comfy thrones for them to watch the carnage from. They took their seats, and Selene even summoned some kettle-corn!

Meanwhile, Marco was still guarding Ferguson. "It's almost game-time, and thanks to me, no Warriors have gotten close to you!" the boy said proudly.

Of course, Star picked that moment to leap out of nowhere dressed in Viking armor with a battle-cry and a mace. "Who's ready for a bloody, bloody, bloodbath?" she asked with a demented grin. She slammed the mace into the ground and gave a crazy cackle.

"What's with that crazed look in your eyes?" Marco asked, unnerved.

"Whatdya mean?" Star growled, her eyes glowing pink.

"Watch Ferguson," Marco instructed Alfonzo. "I need to speak with Princess Cuckoo-pants." He led Star away, only for Ferguson to be abducted the moment he was gone. "Okay, Star, what exactly are you up to?"

"Exactly what you said," star replied, looking mildly confused as she hefted the mace. "Selene and I booby-trapped the battlefield."

"Star and I got the stuff for it, Caramel helped set it up," Selene added.

"I'm nothing if not a team player," Caramel said modestly.

"WHAT?!" Marco freaked out, looking at the field. Landmines, a tiger-pit, laser trip-lines... "Star, Selene, the Warriors weren't actually gonna kill our team; they were just gonna beat them in Football, which is a  _GAME!!_ "

Star's and Selene's smiles melted from their faces as they realized their grave misunderstanding. "Ohhhh..." they both said, just as the whistle was blown. The quarterback of the visiting team ran forward and kicked the booby-trapped football, which resulted in a rainbow-colored explosion. The charred football landed in the hands of the home team's quarterback, who quite reasonably panicked. That, however, caused everyone in the stands to panic, as well. A Warrior was sucked into a black hole, a Spirit Boy was almost blown up by a land-mine.

"Oh no," Selene began.

"Everything's going according to plan!" Star finished.

A referee ran onto the field, mindlessly blowing his whistle and waving yellow cards, only to trip on a trip-line, releasing all the mutated animals, including three blazing three-eyed cats.

"Let me guess," Marco deadpanned. "The kitty-cat offence?" Star chuckled nervously from behind her mace as the chaos continued to unfold. "We have to do something!" He then charged into battle to help restore order. After a moment of indecision, Star joined in.

"Well, looks like it's time to clean up our mess," Selene said, handing Caramel her kettle-corn. With a wave of her wand, she was dressed similarly to Star. "Enjoy the show for me, okay?"

"No, we're in this together," the Septarian argued, setting the snacks down on the thrones.

"Aw, you're so sweet," Selene said. With another wave of her wand, Caramel was outfitted for battle, and they charged into the fray.

Marco used karate on one of the squirrel-beasts, earning cheers from the three Warriors he saved. "Alright! Dude, you are awesome!"

"Uh, thanks, bro," Marco said proudly, before of them was carried off by a bird-beast and Marco was attacked by a mutated flying squirrel.

Star, who was trying to save a Warrior from the black hole, quickly noticed this. "MARCO!" She abandoned the Warrior to go to her bestie's aid. Thankfully, before he could be sucked in, Selene and Caramel came to his aid, pulling him to safety. Selene dispelled the black hole quickly so no one else would get sucked in. Meanwhile, Star turned her mace back into her wand and started blasting the mutated animals with Mending Heart Hurricanes, and Selene followed suit.

Caramel rescued Brittney Wong from the dragon made of butterflies by simply ripping its head off with his bare hands. When he returned her safely to the ground, she looked up at his handsome face with awestruck eyes. "Who are you?" she asked in a daydream voice.

"Prince Caramel of Septarsis," he answered. "And before you ask for my number, no, you can't have it, I already have the best girlfriend in the multiverse."

"What?!" she snapped out of it. "Who?"

Caramel turned his gaze to Selene, who was turning the beasts back to normal with her twin. Without a verbal answer, he left and returned to Selene's side.

When the remaining beasts ganged up on Marco, Star and Selene leaped to his defense, tapping their wands together. "NUCLEAR HEART-HEALING HURRICANE!" With a nuclear blast, most of the beasts were returned to normal, but it wasn't over yet.

The two Warriors who had kidnapped Ferguson were quickly rendered unconscious when they hit a mine, somehow leaving Opossum-Boy unharmed. "Hey! Marco!" he yelled as he ran to his friend, who was still helping star turn the beasts back to normal, setting off land-mines as he ran. "You were right! They WERE trying to kidnap me!"

"Ferguson! Get off the field!" Marco warned, trying to get him to stop.

"What? I can't hear you through all the explosions!" Just as he said that one went off right in front of him, blasting him.

"FERGUSON!!" Marco wailed, running over to his charred friend and shaking him. "No, buddy! I'm sorry! I failed you!" Tearfully, he pulled the seemingly dead body of his friend into a hug. "Forgive me!"

"Dude," Ferguson said, opening his eyes, causing Marco to pull back so he could see his face. "I was just playing possum!"

"HUH?!"

"It's what we do!" He was perfectly fine.

"..." Marco stared at him for a moment, before gleefully yelling, "You're alive!" then shaking him angrily, "This is why you only have two friends!"

 

The field was in smoking ruins, the field goals were falling down, and Brittney Wong was a complete mess. Amidst it all, Star, Selene, and Caramel stood in awed horror at the chaos they'd caused. "We've really messed up," Star whispered, and all Selene and Caramel could do was nod in agreement.

"It's not all your fault," Marco said, coming over to the twins and the lizard boy. "I should have been watching out for you." Selene and Star smiled, and Caramel's own tense posture eased.

"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" one of the Warriors yelled, ruining the touching moment as the burly visiting team fled like cowards, their bus taking off like a bat outta hell.

"Hey, they just forfeited," the quarterback of the Awesome Opossums realized, taking off his helmet with an awed smile. "We win!"

The crowd hiding in the ruins of the stands stood up and cheered, the home team did a victory dance, and our heroes were lifted up on their shoulders like the victors of a might war!

"Huh, why do I feel like I'm forgetting something...?" Star puzzled, gnawing on the wing of the wand. Then the bird-beast swooped down with a cry and carried off Marco, much to everyone's horrified shock. "That was it." Star confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Stump, I am so sorry for the long hiatus! Shit hit the fan this last February what with all the sudden snow and ice my area got and aside from frequent library and office closures, I ended up slipping on a patch of ice hidden by some loose snow and fracturing my left distal femur and needing surgery. I now have 4 pins in my knee, and this is the first time I've been out of the house since the surgery that isn't for medical reasons. This is gonna be a long process, so bear with me, okay?
> 
> Also, why did Selene's eyes and wand crystal turn purple? I wanna see theories, people!


	6. Monster Arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is why skim-reading is a bad idea, Star," Selene scolded, rubbing her temples.  
> "I said I was sorry! There has to be a spell to turn it back!" Star said, quickly looking through the Magic Book of Spells.  
> Selene gave a sigh and sat back on her heels beside her twin. "I'll look, too. After all, two sets of eyes are better than one!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own SVTFOE, I only own my OCs'. And yes, Caramel will be making another appearance! Gotta have more hot Septarians!

_(Echo Creek, Earth, the Diaz Residence...)_

It was starting out like any normal morning at the Diaz Residence... or, well as normal as it can be when you have two magical princesses from another dimension living with you, and Marco was busy preparing for his karate tournament. Taking a few calming breaths, he prepared to chop a single plank of wood in half with his hand.

Just then, Star, passed his room, humming happily, when she noticed what her Earth-bestie was doing. With a mighty "HIIYA!" and a swift swing of his arm, he cleaved the unfortunate piece of dead tree in half, obliterating it.

"Whoa, you hate wood, too?!" Star asked, before grinning and throwing punches in the air. "Yeah, crush that wood! Wood's the worst!"

"No, I'm practicing for my karate tournament," the boy corrected as he stood up.

"Oh!"

"You see, star," Marco began, ready to impress her with his skills. "Martial Arts is all about honor and discipline." Star nodded seriously. Fighting was one of the few things she took seriously, after all. "Which is why... I'M GONNA KICK JEREMY BIRNBAUM'S BUTT!"

"Jeremy Birnbaum?" Star repeated, looking puzzled. "Isn't that the talking bear that used to rummage through my parents' garbage?"

"He's just this creep in my dojo who's only any good 'cuz his rich parent buy him expensive equipment and private lessons!" Marco explained, his hate for the brat obvious. "But Saturday, he's gonna get a taste of this!" He placed 3 planks of wood on the cinder blocks and raised his arm to strike, but his karate yell quickly changed to a scream of pain as the crunch of bone could be heard.

_(A little bit later...)_

"Let me get this straight," Caramel said through the Magic Mirror, rubbing his temple with his left hand. "The human boy broke his arm trying to break  _3_ planks of wood?"

"Yeah, it's in a cast, now," Selene explained. "Star and I both signed it, but Marco's still miserable."

"UGH! This is a nightmare!" Marco groaned. "If I can't fight Jeremy, then he'll say I wussed out and he'll never let me live it down."

Star, however, was hardly listening, and instead using her wand to repeatedly change her hairstyle between pigtails and ponytails. "Pigtail, ponytail, pigtail, pony tail!"

Seeing that, Marco got an idea. "Wait, you have a Wand!" he realized. "You and Selene could just fix my hand!"

Star and Selene both abruptly stopped what they were doing. "Ya know, that sort of spell's not really in my comfort zone," Star said. "But if you like, I can giv you a pretty wicked set of pigtails?!" She gestured to her own crazy hairdo, grinning like it was the best thing ever.

"I can heal internal bleeding, but bones are another matter," Selene added. "If it's not set just right, it heals wrong and can limit the range of motion, or break again too easily."

"It's not much of a problem for Septarians," Caramel chimed in. "We just remove the damaged limb and it grows back as good as new. Why can't humans regenerate? Seriously, why?"

"Pigtails? Internal bleeding? Regeneration? Ugh..." the boy groaned as he flopped back on the bed, giving up hope. It seemed he was stuck waiting for this to heal naturally.

Then Star got a great idea and grinned like an idiot. "Unless..." she ran over to the beg and threw Marco's legs out of the way so she could get something out from under the bed. "I could look up a bone-healing spell... from the magic instruction book that came with the wand!" she said as she hauled the heavy leather-bound book out from its hiding place.

"What?!" Marco almost shrieked as he sat up. "You mean this whole time, you had a magic instruction book?!"

"Yup!" Star said cheerfully as she dragged in out into the open.

"Whenever a previous owner of the Wand mastered a spell," Selene began to explain. "The wrote it down in here!" Meanwhile her twin opened the dusty old book, only to inhale a cloud of dust and start coughing. "But it's a complete disorganized mess. There's no way to search for a particular spell unless you know which former Queen came up with it."

"It's gonna take me  _forever_ to find- Oh! There it is!" Star chirped, pointing to a spell in Crescenta the Eager's chapter.

"Really?!" Marco asked excitedly, hopes way, way up as he stood up to come see.

"Make sure it's the right one," Selene said, hurrying over to double-double check. "Never skim-read the Magic Book of Spells!"

"Hmm, it's in an ancient language," Star hummed, powering up the wand. "Releaseo Demonius Infestica!" Twin beams of magic shot out and swirled like a DNA strand before connecting with Marco's arm.

"AHHH! I can feel it working!" Marco shouted over the sound of the spell. "MY FINGERS ARE TINGLING!"

And then his arm turned into a huge slimy purple tentacle that flopped onto the ground in a heap, making Marco scream in horror.

Star, Selene, and Caramel (who was still watching from the Magic Mirror) all gasped, horrified at this development. "Don't worry!" Star said nervously, quickly flipping pages, even flipping past Glossaryck. "There must be a spell in here that can change it back!"

"What spell even was that?" Caramel asked, clearly confused.

"Oh, crud, that looks like it's from Crescenta the Eager's chapter!" Selene exclaimed, horrified. "That woman was absolutely nuts!"

"How so?" Caramel asked while Marco eyed the writhing tentacle.

"The spells she included in her chapter are half-curses!" Selene explained. "One lights up a dark room but makes everyone around you terribly itchy, and another ties your shoes but sets the room you're in on fire!"

At that point, the tentacle swatted the Magic Book of Spells out the window, the weight of the book taking a chunk of the wall with it.

"Sorry, Marco..." Star said, upset that she'd failed to help her friend. "I'll go get the Book." She stood and trudged outside to retrieve it.

"Don't worry, Marco," Selene tried to reassure him. "If the cure's not in the Book, I'll call Mom and ask her to send over some of Grandma Crescenta's spellbooks. She wrote enough to fill an entire library, so it's bound to be in there... somewhere. For now, maybe you'd better lie down and just try to relax. After all, stressing never helped anyone."

"Y-yeah," Marco stammered, kinda in shock about the whole thing as he began to exit the room, dragging the writhing tentacle behind him. "You're probably right."

"We'll find something by the morning!" She called after him. Once the door closed, she sighed and rubbed her temples.

"Do you want me to come over?" Caramel asked, hoping he could help somehow.

"If you could, I'd appreciate that," Selene said.

* * *

_(That evening...)_

"This is why skim-reading is a bad idea, Star," Selene scolded, rubbing her temples.

"I said I was sorry! There's gotta be a way to turn it back!" Star said, quickly looking through the Magic Book of Spells.

Selene gave a sigh and sat back on her heels beside her twin. "I'll look too. After all, two sets of eyes are better than one."

"Seriously, who in their right mind comes up with spells like these?" Caramel asked, reading a list of Crescenta's spells. "Spells to take away a Pony Head's ability to fly, spells to turn a squirrelicorn inside-out, spells to heal a broken bone and then turn the entire limb into a demon-tentacle? What was wrong with your ancestor?"

"I have no idea," Selene said. "She always said in her entries that she wanted to help the kingdom, but people born under the Hydra Aureole sign tend to be quite two-faced. She's a perfect example."

"Hey! No dissing of the Grandmas!" Star protested.

"Well, it's the truth, Sis," Selene held her ground. "There's a lot wrong with our family. Crescenta is barely the tip of the iceberg. Festivia the Fun did nothing but party, Solaria slaughtered more monsters than anyone else combined regardless of age or gender. She didn't even care if they were in the right. Skywynne spent years basically freezing time so she could stalk her future husband instead of actually talking to him. Great Uncle Jushtin's priorities were out the window, Dirhennia was either lazy or had chronic depression, maybe both. Rhina only cared about riddles and fashion. Celena the Shy never used the Wand's magic and neither did Estrella the Drafted. We can't even look at Grandmother Eclipsa's chapter. I think Grandma Comet had the right idea, wanting to make peace between Monsters and Mewmans, she just didn't do a good job executing it."

There was silence for a moment. Then Star spoke. "What about Mom?"

Selene heaved a sigh. "She threatens to send us both to Saint O's if we don't act like 'proper princesses,'" she said at last. "Proper isn't who either of us are. You're chaotic-good, and I'm hanging out with monsters almost every other day - not that she needs to know that." She turned to look out the window, her gaze piercing the cosmos all the way to Butterfly Castle. "If I was the princess our mother thinks I am, I should hate monsters." She averted her gaze to her feet, the hand that didn't hold the wand clenching hard. Had she any pigment in her skin, they would've turned white. "But I don't. And if she finds out my dearest companion is a Septarian, it's off to Saint O's for me!" She gestured in the direction she knew Saint O's to be in and began pacing as her frustration began to come to a head. "How am I supposed to help shape a more peaceful Mewni for Mewmans and Monsters alike if my own mother wouldn't support my ideals?! She thinks she knows what it means to be Queen of Mewni, but she doesn't! None of our ancestors did!" She turned to face her twin, who had gone silent in the face of her sister's rare meltdown, the volume of her voice rising as her tirade went on. "Don't you understand?! I have to be a better Queen -  _we_ have to be better Queens - for the sake of everyone, Star! That is why we can't afford to repeat the mistakes of our ancestors or make stupid mistakes like skim-reading-"

"Selene." Caramel said calmly, catching her attention.

"WHAT?!" she demanded, on the verge of screaming, an eerie purple hue starting to overtake her eyes.

"Your eyes are turning purple."

At once, Selene's anger and desperation evaporated, and she fought to rein in her emotions. After a few moments of taking deep breaths, she calmed down, and the purple hue faded until her eyes looked normal again. "... Sorry." she said shortly. "I'm tired and stressed from... everything. It might be best if we all call it a night."

"Then I shall take my leave," Caramel said with a nod. "Get some sleep, Selene. I hope you feel better in the morning."

"Thanks."

Caramel gave one last nod, then exited the room. Star followed him out, a concerned look on her face. "Uh, Caramel, right?" she asked. "What was that about? What was up with my sister's eyes?"

Caramel sighed and relented. This was his girlfriend's sister, after all. She deserved to know. "Well, you remember how Selene became the way she is now?" he asked. "Pallid skin and hair, but her eyes darker than yours?" Star nodded. That particular part of their lives would never be forgotten. "Well, from what I understand, when she drew the taint of dark magic out of your mother, it had to go somewhere." Star gasped in shock and horror. "She gave a part of herself to preform that spell, and it was replaced with the very thing she sought to rid your mother of. From what she told me, she discovered this a few months after the spell was cast. Something upset her enough to make her cry, and her tears were turned purple by the dark magic. She said because of that, she has never allowed herself to cry in front of anyone since."

"I... I haven't seen her cry since we were little kids," Star admitted.

"Indeed." Caramel said with a nod. "In addition, whenever her negative emotions like anger, rage, hate, sadness, or despair get particularly overwhelming, the dark magic concentrated in her irises flares up and starts spreading to the rest of her eyes and then to her eyelids. It recedes once she calms down, but I believe she's afraid that if anyone finds out it happens at all, the Magic High Commission will have her either banished or crystallized, or even both." His gaze turned stern. "So don't tell anyone. I care about Selene more than anyone else in my life, and her happiness means everything to me, and I know you feel the same way about her. Don't make me regret trusting you with this secret."

Star looked at him seriously. "I'd do  **anything** for my sister." she said with finality.

Caramel nodded. "Then we have an understanding," he said, then shrugged on his jacket. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Princess, I need to get home before my father finds out where I am. He's not exactly fond of your family."

"Whaaat?" Star asked. "Why's that?"

"Well," the young Septarian replied, glancing over his shoulder at her as he took out a pair of dimensional scissors. "Let's just say your mother got her epitaph of 'Moon the Undaunted' when she faced him alone on a battlefield and permanently severed his right middle finger. Considering a Septarian's reputation comes from their ability to regenerate lost limbs and even our heads, she basically disgraced him in front of all Monster-kind."

Star drew in a breath. "Ohhhh..." she said as she came to understand what he meant.

"Exactly, Princess," Caramel confirmed with a humorless smile. "So I'll thank you not to mention to your mother that I was ever here. Or that I exist. Let me know if you still need help to return the human boy's arm to normal tomorrow." With that, he swiftly cut a rift into thin air and stepped through it, closing it behind him.

Star went back to her room. The faint scent of lavender lingered in the air, so it was kinda obvious that Selene had used her "Lingering Lavender Lullaby" to help her get to sleep. With a sigh, she went back to looking through the Magic Book of Spells. If Selene said it was important not to skim-read, then it was important not to skim-read.

* * *

_(The Next Day...)_

Marco blinked his eyes open as the new day began and stretched his arms with a yawn like he normally would upon waking... only to be slapped in the face by his new slimy purple tentacle-arm. "Ugh..." He proceeded to the shower, but the tentacle hit the soap out of his hand, slapped him on the head, and then turned the hot water on to the max, resulting in a scalded Marco. it even swatted away his entire breakfast at the breakfast table!

Star came down a moment later, with Selene trailing behind her, still reading the spell book. With a yawn, she greeted her best friend. "Morning Marco, morning Monster-Arm. I was up all night, but I haven't found a way to reverse the spell."

The monster arm seemed to slam its fist into the table, startling her. Then it grabbed her orange juice, dumped it on Marco's head, and flung the glass at the wall. "Any luck, Selene?" he asked in a monotone.

"Not yet," she said, shaking her head but never taking her eyes from the page. "I'll keep looking."

_(Later, at school lunchtime...)_

The twins and Marco carried their lunch trays through the cafeteria, Marco trying to keep the monster-arm from slapping his tray out of his good hand, when the voice of the school bully caught their attention. "Hey kid, got a joke for ya," he was saying as they turned to see what was happening. There was Lars, the big mean school bully, picking on a nerd. "What's the most important meal of the day?" before the kid could answer, Lars slapped his lunch tray out of his hand onto the ground, spilling his food. "It's breakfast." Then Lars laughed at his own stupid joke.

"Eh-heh, that's a good one, Lars," the nerd said nervously, trying to pick up his tray, only to have Lars shove his face in it. Lars laughed even harder while everyone else looked on. Just as Selene was preparing to defend the poor kid, Marco's monster-arm slapped the bully in the face! The entire lunchroom gasped in surprise. No one fought back against Lars, and now he was angry. "Who did that?" he demanded, turning to face Marco, who pointed nervously to his tentacle arm. "No one hits Lars-" Said tentacle cut him off with another slap, and another, and several more, until Lars' face was all swollen and red. The bully was reduced to tears and ran away crying. Typical bully.

The tentacle then helped the nerd back to his feet and wiped the gunk off his face. "I, sir, am in your debt." The nerd said gratefully, before being abruptly shoved out of the way by Ferguson.

"YOU'RE A HERO!" and the crowd burst into cheers! Finally, Lars got what was coming to him.

"Can I check out that arm?" Jackie-Lynn Thomas asked in her laid-back voice.

"Uh... sure," Marco replied, holding it out straight.

"I want it to be my boyfriend!" a girl named Janna said, coming forward to feel it.

"Me, too!" another agreed.

"High-five!" Jackie said, holding up a hand.

Marco grinned. Maybe having a monster-arm had perks! The nerd was still staring at him with admiration shining in his eyes.

* * *

_(That evening...)_

"Aha!" Star said triumphantly. "I found it! A reverse-tentacle spell... I think."

"Uh, maybe you should practice on something, first?" Marco suggested.

"Way ahead of you," Selene said, summoning about 3-dozen potted plants. She and Star fired up their wands and each aimed at a plant. "Returnio Armio Normalritticus!" Star said. The blast from the wand burned the plant, killing it and making Star shudder in horror.

Marco grabbed the monster-arm as if to protect it. "I'm going to bed now," he said, getting off of Star's bed and heading for the door.

"Don't worry! We'll get it!" the twins called, getting ready to try again. This time Selene tried a variation of the words. "Returnius Armius Mormalrini!" That resulted in the plant being obliterated. "Ugh!"

And so they kept trying variations all night. Caramel even helped out by keeping a list of the variations they used and keeping track of which ones didn't work so they wouldn't use the same ones again on accident. It took all night, with various odd and disturbing results, but finally, "Returnio... Armius... Normalrino..." Star mumbled sleepily. Finally, FINALLY, the spell turned the little plant into a normal arm, the hand of which gave her a thumbs-up!

The twins stared at it with huge eyes, yelled "MARCO!!" and ran to go get him. Thankfully, Selene remembered to bring the arm with them as proof they'd done it.

As for Caramel, who had been struggling to keep his eyes open for a few hours now, he promptly fell on his face and went to sleep.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Marco was in his room doing one-arm push-ups with the monster-arm. "673, 674, 675-"

"We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, WE DID IT!" the twins said happily as they rushed into his room, showing off the potted arm.

"Wait, you're gonna fight with that?" Selene asked, holding up the potted arm so that it pointed at Marco's monster arm.

"That sounds kind of unfair." Star pointed out.

Then, Marco did what Selene had been hoping he wouldn't do. He glared at them. See, during the search for a spell that would reverse the monster-arm spell, Selene had identified it as one of Crescenta the Eager's spells, one that healed a broken limb, but also turned it into a demon tentacle that eventually became sentient and implants negative thoughts it the mind of its host. Yeah, she could tell things were about to go from bad to worse.

"OH, funny how you never have a problem using your magic when it benefits  _you,_ " Marco sneered, pointing the tentacle accusingly and getting in their faces. "But as soon as it gives  _me_ an advantage, you want to take it away!"

"Marco, I think that arm's a bad influence on you," Star pointed out, while Selene - not liking when anyone invading her personal space and sending threatening vibes her way - swatted the tentacle out of her face.

"And I think you should go." Marco said pushing them out the door.

"What?! Fine!" Star snapped, finally cracking from staying up for two nights in a row trying to help him only to be told he thought he knew better than two magic princesses. "I don't-" And the door was slammed in her face.

"UNGRATEFUL LITTLE TWERP!" Selene yelled through the door.

Marco scoffed and sat down on his bed. "Man, what do they know?"

As he spoke, the tentacle rose up and a mouth formed between two sets of suction cups, full of sharp teeth. "Don't listen to them," it said in a raspy voice. "They're just jealous."

Marco flinched back on instinct. "WHAT?! You can  _talk!?_ "

"You don't need them anymore," it continued. " _I_ can give you everything you ever dreamed of!"

"Really?"

"First, we're gonna destroy that little punk Jeremy." The monster said, appealing to the dark and greedy side in all humans.

"Yeah," Marco easily agreed with that idea.

"Then we're gonna get Jackie Lynn Thomas to like you!"

"Yeah!" Marco agreed, his face maniac with greed.

"AND THEN WE'RE GONNA SLAUGHTER ALL HUMANS AND FEAST ON THEIR BOWELS!!"

"YEAH- wait, what?" Marco asked. When had the arm gone from his basic ambitions to defeat his rival and get his crush to like him to cannibalism?

"I -I mean, win the tournament!" The monster arm said, which seemed to be good enough for him.

"YEAH!!"

* * *

_(Strip Mall Dojo, just before the tournament...)_

A crowd had gathered on the bleachers of the Dojo, consisting of friends and family of the competitors and curious bystanders. Tiredly, Selene and Star made their way to sit with Alphonso and Ferguson, who had saved them seats. Both looked like they were about to keel over from exhaustion. "Are you okay, Star and Selene?" Alphonso asked.

"You both look terrible!" Ferguson agreed, adding in a mutter "And I have  _very low_ standards."

"We've been up for two night, trying to fix his monster arm," Star said through a yawn. "Then he gets mad. Then we gotta come here, and watch him karate. Ya know?"

"Yup. Wake me if something starts to go horribly wrong." Selene said, before her head slumped forward and she fell asleep.

In the arena, the Sensei began to speak. "Allow me to introduce our first competitor, Jeremy Birnbaum!" To the left, a boy no older than eight stepped out of a deep blue cloak with a high-pitched "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

" _That's Jeremy?!_ " Star asked in surprise.

"That kid can't be anymore than 8 years old!" Ferguson agreed as Jeremy laughed like a spoiled evil rich kid.

"We love you, son!" the boy's mother called from the stands, while her husband held up a sign to cheer for him.

"SHUT IT, MOM!!" the brat screamed, waking Selene.

"That whelp is who Marco's fighting?" she asked when she realized what was happening. "What an ungrateful little roach."

"And his opponent, Marco Diaz!" the Sensei said, gesturing to Marco, who stood half in shadow, his monster arm clearly visible.

The audience gasped in shock. "Now  _that's_ an appendage!" Jeremy's father commented, looking and sounding impressed.

"Hey, wait!" Jeremy snapped his shrill, bratty voice. "He's got a monster arm! That's not fair!"

"Yeah, pretty cool, right?" the Sensei said, but before Jeremy could argue, the monster arm lashed out at him like a whip and proceeded to slam him into the floor, spin him around, smash his head into the trophy shelf, through the ceiling, and finally throw him onto the floor, battered and bruised. "Point Diaz." was all the instructor said.

"Where are your private lessons now, Jeremy?" Marco taunted as the monster arm opened its mouth. It reached out and caught the brat, reeling him in with a malicious cackle.

"He's beaten, now finish him!" the tentacle ordered.

"WHAT?!"

"This is what you've always wanted," the tentacle arm rationalized. "Destroy him, eat his bowels!!"

"Not my bowels!" Jeremy protested, starting to flail in panic. "I love my bowels!"

"Hey, listen!" Marco said, trying to reason with it. "I just wanted to win the tournament so he wouldn't make fun of me!"

The massive grin on the demon tentacle's arm faded, before it turned into a frown. "If you're too weak to finish him, I'll do it myself!" it declared, then ripped open Jeremy's uniform, exposing his stomach. Now they boy truly screamed in terror.

"Star and Selene were right about you," Marco realized, stepping between the brat and the beast growing from his right shoulder. "You  _are_ a bad influence!"

The demon tenacle arched over them menacingly. "And  _you_ are pathetic." it growled, throwing Jeremy across the dojo into a punching bag, where he fell to the floor.

"Point, Diaz." The sensei said.

The demon tentacle launched its attack against its host, snapping at him like a hungry shark. "Star! Selene! You can turn it back, now!" Marco yelled, trying to dodge the thing's hideous maw.

The tentacle looked up in fright. If the princesses hit it with that spell, it was toast! "Twins!" Alphonso and Ferguson shouted, only to find both girls asleep! "Girls, you've gotta wake up!" Ferguson urged, shaking them both while Alphonso panicked uselessly.

Meanwhile, the monster arm continued to attack Marco, slamming him into the ceiling while Ferguson yelled in the twins' ears, making Marco hit himself while Ferguson tried slapping the girls' cheeks. "Here, try this!" Alphonso suggested, handing Ferguson his cup of water.

"Thanks!" the overweight boy said, before taking a drink.

"No, on the twins!" Alphonso corrected.

"Oh, right!"The water was promptly splashed in their faces, making them sputter and wake up.

"STAR!! SELENE!!" Marco screamed as the monster arm tied him up, making the twins gasp in horror before taking up their wands.\

Star was the first to get a shot off. "Returnio Armius Normalrino!" She blasted at the demon tentacle, but the damn thing was fast and dodged easily, and the blast hit a punching bag instead!

"Returnio Armius Normalrino!" Selene fired this time, but the tentacle dodged again, and the blast hit a dumbbell. This went on, turning various things into arm, two of which saluted the sensei, who returned the gesture.

"Nahaha, I could do this all day!" the demon tentacle gloated.

The twins groaned in frustration "He's too wiggly!" They said in unison.

This gave Marco an idea. All the arms below him... He flipped upside down and pulled the tentacle off the ceiling. They fell to where the arms waited for them, and they pinned the tentacle down to the floor. "NOW!!"

Realizing they had a chance, the twins tapped their wands together and said the spell in synch. "RETURNIO ARMIUS NORMALRINO!!" Unable to move, the blast struck true, and the demon tentacle screamed in horror.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET RID OF ME!!" it vowed as it began to turn back into an ordinary arm. "I'M A PART OF YOU NOW! YOU CAN TREAT THE SYMPTOMS, BUT YOU'LL NEVER CURE THE VIRUS...!!!" And with that, it was a regular hand and arm once again. Marco could only sigh in relief.

"Marco! Are you okay?" Star asked worriedly as she, her twin, and Alphonso and Ferguson ran up to him.

Marco examined his arm, eyes wide in amazement. It was normal, and healed! "My Arm!" he cheered as he stood up and hugged said appendage. "My beautiful arm, it's back to normal!" A sickening crack filled the air, making Marco wince in pain. "Oh... and totally broken again." So apparently turning the demon tentacle back into a hand also meant breaking it again.

"Broken arm?" Jeremy latched onto that like a leech as he jumped up victoriously. "Well, it looks like I win!!" Only for a set of gold brass knuckles to fall out of his glove.

"Brass knuckles? Seriously" the sensei asked as an arm showed it to him.

"Brass?" Jeremy scoffed. "Please, they're gold."

"You boys have brought shame and dishonor to this great and noble sport!" sensei said. "'Tis a sad day for strip mall dojos  everywhere." And with that, he stormed off. They boys awkwardly glanced at each other, before Jeremy kicked a pile of arms with a growl and stormed off like the brat he was. 

"Oh, bravo, son! Bravo!" Jeremy's mother said, lightly applauding him.

Jeremy just growled. "I wish I could fight  _you,_ Mom." he spat, making his parents shrink back.

"What a turd." Ferguson said, shaking his head in disgust. 

Marco gave a small groan of pain. "Sorry," he said to the twins. "I should've listened to the two of you."

The twins put a hand on each shoulder. "We know." They said in synch.

"Hey, uh, when the monster arm said he'd be back, that's nothing to worry about right?" the boy asked.

"Uh... probably not?" Star guessed. Marco looked to Selene, who could only shrug. Marco looked horrified! If that thing came back... they were screwed.

_(To Be Continued!)_


	7. The Other Exchange Student

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Selene meet Gustav, an Exchange student the Diaz Family hosted the previous year. But something seems extremely... off about him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own SVTFOE

_(Echo Creek, Earth, The Diaz Residence...)_

Star and Selene yawned as they made their way down the stairs, still in their nightgowns. it was a new day, the sun was shining, and anything was possible!

"SURPRISE!!" The Diaz Family cheered, surprising the twins as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "HAPPY 47TH DAY ON EARTH, STAR, AND SELENE!!" The Laser Puppies shot off a couple of blasts like fireworks to show their happiness.

"AH!!" Star squealed happily. "A party? For us? I can't believe it!" she said, twirling and skipping over in delight.

"You can't?" Marco asked, disbelieving.

"They've done this every day since we got here," Selene said with a chuckle. "If I wasn't sharing my share of the cake with Caramel, I'd be getting quite overweight by now."

"Here, girls," Rafael said, turning to face them. "I made you a cake!" In his hands was a large sheet cake with both girls drawn in the frosting.

"And I wrote you a poem!" Angie said, taking out a piece of paper. She began to read.

 _"Our lives were so small and puny,  
_ _Till these angels arrived from Mewni-"_

Before she could read any further, the doorbell rang.

"Oh, thank goodness," Marco sighed with relief, taking off his party hat and going to answer the door.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by a boy with dirty-blond hair about his age, wearing stereotypical Scandinavian clothing and a backpack. "Hello! It is I, Gustav!" he said in a high-pitched voice and stereotypical foreign accent.

"NO. WAY!!" Marco said excitedly, looking overjoyed.

"Oh, Marco! My American friend!" Gustav greeted happily before they did some sort of secret handshake.

"LOOK WHO'S HERE!" Marco called to his family, who immediately dropped everything - including the slices of cake they'd cut for the Butterfly twins - and rushed over to greet the boy. Star and Selene could only watch in confusion as the attention was taken away from them and given to this boy they'd never met.

Right away, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz were hugging him and saying what a wonderful surprise it was to see him and how much they missed him. It was kinda awkward for the twins, so Star tried to greet him. "Um, hi?" she said uncertainly.

"Oh, hello," this Gustav person replied. "I am Gustav. I was the Diaz's exchange student last year."

Star looked extremely confused. "What?! But I thought we were your only foreign exchange students?" Star asked the Diaz family.

"Not even close!" Marco replied. "I mean, who did you think all these kids were?" He gestured to a wall covered in framed photos of all the kids his family had hosted over the years. Star merely gave a hum of disappointment, but for Selene, it explained why the Diaz Family had taken them in with open arms. Hosting foreign exchange students was nothing new to them.

Now Gustav was rummaging around in his backpack, looking for something. "I brought gifts from Scandinavia!" he announced. "For Mrs. D, a pair of clogs!" he handed the woman the wooden shoes, and Selene quirked an eyebrow. Why would anyone wear such shoes? They looked both painful and unfashionable, but Mrs. Diaz seemed delighted with them. "For Marco, the handheld game 'Lederhosen Tycoon!'" Marco accepted said video game with great joy. He loved his video games, after all. "And for Mr. Diaz, a genuine Viking helmet!" Rafael gasped in awe at the awesome piece of head-wear, put it on, and rammed his head into the wall without hesitation, a great big grin on his face. "And for you two, nothing!" Gustav said to the twins, looking slightly awkward. "I did not know you existed!" He looked like he wanted to apologize, but did not attempt to. Star still looked disappointed that she didn't get anything while Selene just shrugged. It wasn't like he could spy on the Diaz family to know when they had another exchange student in their home, right?

"Oh, Mrs. D! You've gotten so thin!" Gustav exclaimed as the mother modeled her new shoes. "I need to fatten you up!" Mr. Diaz laughed heartily as the boy led the Diaz family to the kitchen. "Come, everyone! I will cook you my meatballs!" Leaving Star and Selene feeling just a bit left out as they followed. "The Scandinavian monsoons were over, but the danger had just begun," Gustav was saying as he mixed the ingredients for the meatballs. "The iceberg was sinking. Heedless of my own peril, I disrobed! I dove into the freezing fjord, and carried Yuri back to his mother!"

The Diaz family was in awe of his story, but Star was less than impressed. Selene merely wore an expression of polite curiosity. She had a feeling something was up, but she wasn't going to let on just yet. Star seemed to feel the same way, as she approached him to question him. "So, uh, Gustav, where exactly are you from?" she asked.

Gustav narrowed his eyes like he was trying to figure out the best way to trick her. "How much do you know about Europe?" he asked cautiously.

"I know it's a place, I'm pretty sure," Star said, showing just how little she knew about Europe.

"More specifically, it's a continent consisting of seven geographical regions," Selene piped up. "Scandinavia being just one of them, which includes Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark. So a better question would be, 'Where in Scandinavia are you from?'"

"Uh... the one where Vikings teach gym class and everyone has a pet penguin, even if you don't like penguins!" Gustav said, sounding like he just saved his bacon. "Oop, too bad! Here's your penguin!"

"Hey, Gustav! I'm open!" Marco called! "MEATBALL ME!!" The boy gladly scooped up some of the concoction and hurled the scoop in Marco's direction, who jumped up and caught it in his mouth like a hungry dog. Mr. Diaz quickly followed suit.

"Are you sure those are cooked?" Star asked as Gustav continued to fling meat to the Diaz men. Even Mrs. Diaz joined in the fun.

"Just THINK! THREE MORE WEEKS OF THIS!!" Marco said joyously with tears in his eyes as meatballs continued to rain down upon them.

Selene and Star only succeeded in looking grossed out.

* * *

_(The next day...)_

Selene and Star made their way down the stairs to the living room, both still a little sleepy, when they heard the Diaz family's now-familiar greeting. "SURPRISE!" The twins perked up instantly but deflated when they saw the new banner. "HAPPY 2ND DAY OF YOUR VISIT, GUSTAV!!"

"Oh, Diaz family!" Gustav said happily. "You are so full of pleasantness!"

"I'm starting to feel like we're just a fad to them..." Selene said. While she was fine with a little less cake (she was pretty sure she'd need a trip to the dentist if they'd kept giving her the stuff), the way they just switched gears and were now focusing on this boy felt... a little excluding.

With a sigh, she and Star sat down on the couch, causing Gustav's backpack to fall on the floor. It was then they saw what was inside said backpack. Two books, one called "Scandinavian for Doofuses" and the other called "Customs of Scandinavia." There was also a map.

"Does that looks a  _little bit suspicious_ to you?" Selene asked her twin, who nodded silently as she picked up the first book.

"Oh, look at you!" Gustav said to them, snatching the book from Star's hands. "Such curious girls!" he handed them each a slice of cake on a platter, then gave them a hostile glare.  _"Now eat your cake, and mind your own business!"_ he hissed at them.

Selene's eyes began to faintly glow purple. If there was one thing she hated aside from bullies and racists, it was liars. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't tell me what to do," she said in a frighteningly calm voice that made Gustav get the message that she wasn't to be messed with.

"MORE CAKE FOR EVERYONE!" he shouted, trying to pretend he didn't see such a pretty girl suddenly go all ice queen on him. As soon as he left them, Star grabbed Marco and made him sit on the couch between them.

"Marco, we have some... concerns, we need to voice," Selene said, choosing her words carefully. "About Gustav."

"We found Scandinavian books and language tapes in his bag," Star informed their friend. "Why would someone need to learn his own language?"

"Furthermore, I did some research last night," Selene continued. "Turns out that nowhere in Scandinavia is there an entire population with pet penguins. Vikings don't teach gym class there, either. I know he's your friend, but I think he might be hiding something from you and your family."

"And why is he always making meatballs?!" Star demanded like that was the most important thing. "Meatballs aren't so great! I can make things too, and so can Selene!" She flicked her wand and out came a spider with a top hat that scurried away.

"Uh, jealous much?" Marco asked smugly.

"This has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with Gustav's story not making sense." Selene corrected.

"HEY MARCO! THINK FAST!" Gustav yelled, then flung a meatball in his direction, which Marco quickly caught in his mouth.

"I hope he never leaves!" he said with his mouth full.

Star and Selene looked in Gustav's direction, only to see him grin maliciously as he shoved an entire slice of cake into Mrs. Diaz's mouth. They both shuddered, and Selene took out her compact mirror. "Caramel? Yeah, hi, I need you to do some investigating for me. I need you to get me everything on this Scandinavian kid named Gustav- Hey, Gustav, what did you say your last name was?" she asked, looking up from the compact.

Gustav - in fact, everyone but Star - froze. Were they just now realizing that they didn't know his last name? "...Thorson...?" Gustav said hesitantly.

"Gustav Thorson, look him up," Selene said. There was a sound of affirmation from the other end. "Thanks, love! Talk to ya later!" She blew him a kiss and hung up.

Star stared at her in shock. "CARAMEL'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?!" she asked, astonished. She should've seen it coming.

"YOU'RE DATING THE LIZARD GUY?!" Marco asked, equally surprised.

"YOU'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND?!" Mr. and Mrs. Diaz exclaimed in delight.

"Who's Caramel?" Gustav asked, curious.

"Only the most handsome and intelligent guy in the multiverse," Selene bragged. "He wants to be a doctor when he grows up to find a cure for a particular disease his mother died from. He's been my best friend for two years and my boyfriend for one year. He's the best." She gave her twin the  _"I'll-explain-later-look"_ and dropped the conversation.

The two exchanged another knowing glance, having a conversation solely with their eyebrows. And thus, their investigation of one "Gustav Thorson" began. Selene and Star spied on him with binoculars and took photos over the next few days while Caramel ran background checks, trying to figure out what his plan was. They observed him making suspicious phone calls, measuring Mr. and Mrs. Diaz in their sleep, stowing a sharp and deadly-looking ax in his backpack, and made a complex web-chart to try to figure out how it was all connected.

And when Caramel told them that none of the "Gustav Thorsons" he'd found were a match to the one they were dealing with, they realized that something truly sinister was going on.

But what?

“Oh, Star! Selene!” Marco called in a sing-song voice as he was about to knock on their door. “We’re about to- whoa!” he yelped as Star seized him and dragged him into the room. And then he saw it. The massive evidence web,  filled with various photos of Gustav. Star and Selene both looked exhausted, but not the kind of exhausted they’d been after trying to find a spell to reverse the demon-tentacle curse. No, this was the kind of exhaustion only spying and paranoia brought on. “What’s going on?” the boy demanded as Caramel filled through various official government-looking papers.

“We’ve been awake for days, spying on Gustav,” Star explained. “We’re _this close_ to figuring out what he’s plotting!” She held her index finger and thumb a centimeter apart to make her point.

“What?!” Marco asked, deeply confused and disturbed.

“His stories don’t add up, Marco!” Selene explained further. “Penguins? Icebergs? Polar bears? Do you realize that penguins only live in Antarctica and certain places in the tropics?! I’ve checked, and polar bears don’t live in even the most northern areas of Scandinavia, and icebergs are only found in Iceland and Greenland!”

“And! He’s making phone calls, Marco!” Star added. “PHONE CALLS! HE’S UP TO SOMETHING TERRIBLE!!”

“Let’s not forget that he doesn’t seem to exist in any of the countries he’s vaguely claimed he comes from,” Caramel said, looking up from the documents he held. “I found a total of ten Gustav Thorsons, and not one of them resembles the one we’re dealing with in the slightest.”

Marco just stared at all of them like they’d lost their marbles. “You… have lost your minds.” He said. “Except for maybe Caramel.” Star and Selene both looked shocked. Why wasn’t he listening to them? “But, when you find it, you can join us for a picnic with Gustav! We’re meeting him at Isolation Point: ‘Where no one can hear you scream… with enjoyment!’” he quoted the slogan as he left the room.

Once he was gone, the collective gears in Star’s, Selene’s, and Caramel’s head started turning, putting together everything they’d heard Gustav say. _“Oh, Mrs. D, you’ve gotten so thin!” The ringing cell phone… “GUSTAV! GUSTAV! GUSTAV!” Gustav making more meatballs with a sinister grin… “Now eat your cake, and mind your own business!” “Meatballs, meatballs, meatballs!” “Isolation Point…” “Here is your penguin!” “I need to fatten you up!”_

It clicked for all of them at the same moment as they pictured the Diaz’s getting fat and turning into meatballs, and they screamed as one. “Gustav’s not taking them _on_ a picnic…” Caramel said, digging his claws into his hair.

“They _ARE_ the picnic!” Selene and Star finished his sentence. The sound of a car starting up caught their attention, and they saw the Diaz Family drive away in the family car! “Wait!” the twins yelled, but they already left.

The sisters and Caramel looked at each other with determined looks and nodded.  They grabbed Caramel’s hands and cast a spell. “BUNNY RABBIT BLAST!” the twins shouted, using the blast to launch them onto the roof of the car. They quickly conjured rainbow seatbelts. Safety first! They tried to get the family’s attention, but the Diazs’ were too busy singing a meatball version of “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain” to hear them. Realizing this, Selene sent a blast of magic at the sign pointing to Isolation Point, spinning it in the opposite direction. As the Diaz family turned left instead of right, the three hitchhikers jumped off and headed for Isolation Point to confront Gustav… and hopefully, save their friends.

Isolation Point was a dreary, sinister-looking place atop a large cliff. In a clearing, the twin princesses and Caramel spotted Gustav by a campfire, digging through his backpack. As they watched, they saw him take out the ax they’d seen him take from the Diaz garage a few days before, a malicious grin on his face.

The twins jumped out while Caramel circled around to make sure the boy couldn’t escape. “We _knew_ you were up to no good, meatball boy!” they accused in synch, aiming their wands at him.

This resulted in Gustav screaming bloody murder and running away like a coward. “GET BACK HERE!!” Star shouted. Selene growled in frustration as she and her twin took off after him. “Don’t let him get away, Caramel!” she yelled. A moment later, said Septarian jumped out of the bushes, a freaking scythe in his hands. Gustav screamed again and ran down another path, now with two angry magical princesses and an armed Lizard on his tail.

“Dagger-Heart-Blast! Narwhal Blast! Narwhal Blast!” Star cast, hurling her spells at the human, who just barely managed to dodge them.

“Seismic Soundwave!” Selene cast, sending a literal wave of sound at him that knocked him off his feet. Unfortunately, he got back up and kept running for his life.  Caramel lunged at him several times to try to stop him, but damn, could that boy dodge! It was getting really annoying, actually.

They came upon a rope bridge spanning the gap between a chasm, and Gustav sprinted across, slicing the ropes from the stakes that held them, causing the bridge to collapse. It put a decent gap between him and his pursuers, and for a moment he thought it was safe to turn his back.

Oh, how wrong he was!

“Glitter… Dragon… Escalation!” Star cast, turning the bridge into a magical, glittery dragon escalator, which she stood at the head of! “Give it up, Gustav!” she commanded. Of course, the boy panicked and ran, causing the dragon to lunge at him.

Star was now on the same side of the chasm as Gustav, leaving Selene and Caramel on the other side. “How do we get across now?” Caramel asked. After a moment’s thought, Selene had a great idea!

“Serpentine Shapeshift!” she intoned, casting the spell on herself, giving herself the lower body of a snake (making her 30 feet long from head to tail-tip) and a set of feathered wings! She grabbed Caramel under his arms and carried him across… not an easy thing to do. Once they were across, the three of them cornered the boy.

“It’s over, Gustav.” Selene said coldly while she and Star aimed their wands at his face and caramel prevented him from fleeing. “We know you aren’t who you say you are!”

At this, Gustav just broke down crying. “It’s true!” he wailed. “I’m full of lies!”

“So, you admit you’re planning to eat the Diaz’s!” Star accused.

“YES! YES! Wait, what?” The boy stopped crying, looking highly confused and horrified. “No, I don’t want to eat them!”

“But you said-“ Caramel began.

“I mean I’m not from Scandinavia,” the boy clarified, dropping the accent as he stood. “Selene, your suspicions were right all along. The truth is, my name is Charlie Booth, and I’m just a guy from Bakersfield… Ville. Nobody’s heard of it. Back home I’m just another boring face in a really boring crowd. It’s not a good place for a talented guy like me.”

“But what about the phone calls?” Selene asked.  
“And the ax?” Caramel added.  
“And those MEATBALLS?!” Star finished.

“Well, the phone calls were to my meat guy,” Gustav explained. “But he wouldn’t pick up. The ax was to cut firewood for today’s feast. As for the meatballs, my dream is to become a chef, and open a restaurant in Bakersfield Ville that uses spices and flavors! So that’s why I ran away and moved in with the Diaz’s.”

“But what about measuring the Diaz’s in their sleep?” star asked suspiciously, jabbing the boy lightly with her wand.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Gustav replied with a shrug as three pairs of suspicious eyes stared him down. He was saved by the bell – or rather, the honking horn of the Diaz Family car.

“Star! Selene! Selene’s reptilian boyfriend! What a pleasant surprise!” Rafael said from the driver’s seat.

“You made it!” Angie said as the family came over to greet them.

“Yeah, we did,” Star said. “And we came here to tell you something important about Gustav.” Said boy broke out in a cold sweat, begging her not to rat him out with his eyes.

“He’s made you even MORE meatballs!” Selene and Star said, choosing to be merciful, much to the boy’s relief and the Diaz family’s delight. As they ran for the campfire, Gustav breathed a sigh of relief.

“Phew! Thanks for not blowing my cover, girls,” he said gratefully. “If there’s ever anything I can do for you…”

“Well, as a matter of fact, Charlie, there is!” Star said with a grin, Selene’s own grin matched.

(Later…)

“BYE~!” Star and Selene waved goodbye to the faux Scandinavian boy from the doorstep of the Diaz house while the Diaz family looked sad to see him go. “BYE, GUSTAV! BYE-BYE!~

“Bye, Gustav!” the Diaz family called after him as he walked down the road, narrowly avoiding being hit by a couple of cars.

“See ya next year!” Marco called.

“Or not! Ya never know!” Star followed up, Selene giggling behind her. And with that, then went back inside.

“SURPRISE!” Mr. and Mrs. Diaz cheered, surprising the twins. “HAPPY 51ST DAY ON EARTH, STAR AND SELENE!”

Star gasped in delighted surprise. “A party? For us?!” she asked, over the moon.

“And thus, everything is back to normal,” Selene said, and Caramel nodded with a hum of agreement.

“Who wants cake?” Rafael asked, handing the four teens a slice of cake each.

“I’m sorry your favorite exchange student had to leave so soon,” Star apologized to Marco.

“You kiddin’? You and Selene are my favorites.” Marco said, putting a hand on Star’s shoulder.

“Aww,” the twins said, clearly touched.

“I will miss seeing him, though,” Marco admitted. “That guy is just so… real!”

(Meanwhile…)

Across town, a doorbell rang, and the door was opened to reveal Charlie Booth, dressed as a stereotypical Frenchman minus the mustache. “Bonjour!” he greeted the family of 3 African-Americans.

“François!” they cheered happily. “Hey, what a great surprise!” the dad said.

“I brought ze baguettes for everyone!” the aspiring chef/con artist said, and was group-hugged and brought into the house… but not before looking back to make sure he wasn’t followed. After he settled in, he found a note in his pocket.

_“Dear Charlie Booth,_

_About that favor… once you achieve your dream of becoming a chef and opening a restaurant in Bakersfield Ville, give me a call so I can bring Caramel there on a date!_

_Wishing you all the best,_

_Princess Selene Symphony Butterfly, Second Princess of Mewni_

_P.S. This note will spontaneously combust when you finish reading it. I hope you’re not near anything flammable! ;)_


End file.
